Ego

Yeah, yeah...perfect hair indeed. Thankee, Mesh and Mother ^^

Obviously, with responses like that. Be constructive, or don't comment.

All of you will calm down, or this topic is locked. Follow the rules of the forum, or face the consequences.

Jonny--in response to your PM... I think a good way to describe the speech of the creatures, after talking to you about it, would be to type it out normally, ...

Reading your critique is akin to reading the story itself. :P Thanks, Charlie! Eternally helpful--I'll get right on those revisions.

Purely for clarification's sake: Silver finish, no? Automags FTW. And Edit: I stand corrected, by the way--The gun you mentioned could indeed be referred to as a Magnum, though you'd ...

The psychological element is very interesting to me--I dig those stories that revolve around the character and his own demons, rather than flinging bullets at thugs. I think you said ...

And what kind of gun, precisely, is a "Magnum?" Magnum is not a kind of gun. It is actually a modification made to ammunition, to which weapons are then chambered. ...

Moved to lyrics at request of the author.

Awesome, lol. The last line sets it. :)

I thought it was a riot, personally. I only wish it was more structured and more....well, poetic. I agree with Fand, remove some ellipses, though the exclamation marks seem well ...

Mike Reynolds, star of the Dorrison High Varsity Team, was scared out of his mind. Scared that Aiden’s injury might be fatal, scared of the wiry bastard that had overpowered ...

Perhaps you should have countinued, Dan-o. You would've been more pleasantly inclined. "Sucked like a melted popsicle." Cute. Nah, it was good. I can dig it.

Thanks for the comments Dove, Sean. Dove--this is not the end of the story, by any means. It's just the part that I have editted, so far. I'll be posting ...

Very nice, my friend. Excellent work. I did see a few places I tohught were choppy, and could use rewording. If I remember, I'll do an in depth review after ...