Ego

I'm lost, to be honest--I'll read it over again in a while, maybe it'll make more sense. Despite being slightly confuzzled, I likethis so far--the action is dead on, the ...

Ok, right off the bat--double space your paragraphs. Teehee, you're just like me! You overuse commas, which means you probably write like you talk, inserting commas where you would normally ...

To be honest, I'm very confused. You say the soldier's body is lifeless, yet he groans? Also, this whole business with the that a metaphor or was he actually attacked ...

I'm a real buff for fight scenes and weapons and armor--so when I saw this, I was really jazzed for a great time. I feel slightly let down, to tell ...

NEVER HAVE A TITLE LIKE THAT. It's irritating. Put your poem title in the topic name. It got comments, did it not? She had it with the title as the ...

First thing.. "Is there any questions," should be "Are there any questions?" Also, you have a few perspective errors--for the most part, you use a third person view of the ...

I do agree, actually--I find myself writing something, ANYTHING, in my notebooks just so a blank page is not in front of me lol I'd ditch the rhymes tho, they ...

I didn't even notice the rhyming, to be honest. It didn't bother me at all.... I love Anne Rice, and Lestat is a beast, he's cool. Vampires in general are ...

Totally digging this story so far, Jacko. My only peeve on this one is the action--it switches from stuff like "the blood was wiped from the blade," to "he drew ...

Interesting-- There were a few grammatical errors, IE It looked like any regular pearl, besides the fact that it was large "besides," should be "beside"--also, that's a strange word choice ...

Yeah, got that lol Check out my story in Action/ Advenure for another example of that if you want it, Ryan. I like the concept, but I gotta say I ...

Wow, just wow, Carmina--great, as much so If Only, if not better--there were some word choices I tohught were odd, but I won't mention specifics becuase I consider them a ...

First of all i'd like to say welcome to YWS! I hope you've liked it so far! but back to the poem: The title is a little bland, you want ...

Well...maybe I'm just biased right now, but I see no love in these poems at all--I see pain, not happiness. Love should bring joy, not anguish. I dunno what about ...

Dusky.....jeez this was good to read--it totally reflects me, even though I know it's not... I really liked this. Alot. I have but one nit-pick--I didn't notice much a of ...