DudeMcGuy

Hi Shadow, I'm finally here for the review. I only skimmed the other reviews so I'm sorry if I repeat something that has already been mentioned. Jumping in now :) ...

Hi there 567ajt, OK first of all, I think I already told you that poetry/lyrics isn't really my thing. I don't have much experience with them, but I'll do my ...

Hi Shadow, Alright, so I will focus mostly on dialogue since that is what you're looking for help with. Just know that I sometimes write awkward dialogue myself, but it ...

Hi Rubric, I saw this posted the other day and couldn't help but dive in. Here I go! Excellent dialogue for Erunian. You pulled off the character very well. A ...

Hi Twit, Thank you for the request. You've been a great help to me since I've been here, so I'm more than happy to try my best to return the ...

"a few yards" -- that's what I'm talking about! haha. OK there really isn't much I could possibly complain about here. Your description is excellent, the pace is impeccable, and ...

OK here I go, First thing I noticed, " It was late in the day..." -- there is nothing technically wrong with this, but it would be better to "show" ...

This part is also well done Rubric, although I feel the previous scene was a bit better. The part where Arvad remember's the story of Aeolfas the hunter is great ...

Review Part 4, OK, I think this is the best part yet. The bit about the tree's of Arvad's homeland in the beginning has me curious. The Davani have some ...

I'm back again, We're back to "Arvad" again? Alright, so right off the bat I can see that you are trying to do some world-building. But I'm sorry to say ...

I'm here for part two, OK Rubric, this scene is better than the first, not only because we get a more clear picture of the setting, but the characters as ...

Hi Rubirc, OK, so I decided to comment on each individual scene for a better overall review. But before I get to my story impressions, I must point a couple ...

OK, Review #2 coming at cha'! I'll be commenting as I go, Like usual. Paragraph #1: All good here. You could easily add some detail about someone (guards/nobles) mocking Makata ...

Hey Sunny! I'm back for another review. I'm once again going with a "story/feel" approach since that is the critique you prefer for your rough drafts. I will mention style ...

Hello again TheSunChildren, I saw that you have no reviews for this chapter yet, so I thought I would go ahead and be the first! I'm going to avoid grammar-related ...