Dreamworx95

Hey, this is pretty good! Your writing has improved a lot. Your descriptions were fair, though I'd like to read a bit more detail on the surroundings. The character developement ...

Hey, this is pretty nice. I enjoyed reading it a lot. Rune seems like the typical, pompous hero-knight, one of my favorite archetypes. BUT, I think this story starts off ...

Hey, Scribbler! Whazzup? Lol. So I think that you have a great idea here. The summary of the plot in the beginning was a good move. While I do think ...

Pretty confusing in the beginning, I thought they were humans. I think you handled their different personalities very well. I don't think readers would get the characters mixed up. But ...

I'm baaack! lol Hmm...okay, to begin with, you lost me a little with all the conflicts in this chapter. I didn't really know what was going on, all I knew ...

No need to be nervous. This was actually quite good. I like the faeries theme, and I also like that the faeries here are guys, when in most stories they're ...

Lol. Well, I'm not a total hater of the book but I think this is hilarious. I like how you made Edward stupid. Some of the parts that made me ...

Yeah, that did help out a bit. Thanks Stori. Major improvement from your prologue. I agree with Haruno, this was a lot more understandable, but parts were still confusing. Everyone ...

1. Is the use of bold and italic text helpful or jarring? I agree with Haruno Sakura. Couldn't figure out why it was there. 2. Do you feel there's too ...

Ooh, interesting. I like the narrater, sounds like someone I can relate to. Gotta say, I've never heard of a necromancer before. I'm not a fan of doom and gloom ...

Yo!!! I'm baaack! Lol. Oh, shut up, I tell myself, forget it. Stop lying to yourself. He’s dead, he’s dead , okay? D-E-A-D. Dead. Do you understand that? It's about ...

I'm baaackk!!! Mwah, ha, ha, ha! Lol. JK. Okay, first and foremost, I have to tell you something right off the bat. I noticed that a lot of the time, ...

I agree with little tin fish about that first sentence. You could take out the part about the size of the house because it's irrelevent. The other part of the ...

“He’s dead, isn’t he.” I say after a time. Needs a question mark. “Arael Mountain Pass” wends all the way up to “Naroth” Winds not wends. It’s already the third ...

If I assume the voice and the marionette strings to be one and the same, that means there’s something in my head randomly taking control of me, presumably for a ...