Dragoon120

Dragoon120 here to review! Nitpicks first, yes? Some people say the end is only the beginning . The correction is in bold, but I think you could have spotted the ...

This is just... Brilliant! I love how you describe things, I can really imagine the scenery. My favorite description is when you described the sky when Mella goes outside. I ...

Dragoon here to review! Nitpicks first! The powerless ‘Commoners’ as they became known, could do little to counter the guards strength. The sentence needs to be broken and the wording ...

Alright, I am interested in reading more. It seems in this little sneak peek you have put the reader in the action right off the bat, and it has a ...

Okay, this was interesting. I could not stop reading, it drew me to the end. There really isn't any mistakes, from what I can see. The end, caught me by ...

Okay, excellent piece! I'm a fan of Sci-Fi, and ultimately one thing in particular that I couldn't help but think of as I read this: Mass Effect. However, I'm not ...

I love the chapter! Very fascinating, and only one nitpick to be found! "but for lack of, understanding" Get rid of that comma and you're fine. I loved the story, ...

Brilliant story! I love how it created a visual, and how you just described everything. I felt like I was there, and there was a perfect mixture of dialogue and ...

Okay, the story is good. Proof reading is a needed aspect of the story. The story, in parts, are confusing and needs to be clearer. In the aspect of all ...

Brilliant, yet again. No mistakes as far as I can find, but I'm not the best at finding them. You went into detail of how the character, Hawk, feels of ...

There are not any mistakes, as far as I can tell after reading it over multiple times. I liked how you described how he is different, and what he feels ...