Crysi

*laughs* Lucky you, I've decided to edit this piece for you. CHAPTER 7 ‘OK, first off let me explain, The menace in my eyes is because one, I made them ...

I caught the title out of the side of my eye when logging out, so I logged back in to read it lol. This looks like a LOT of fun ...

Love the last stanza. :) I agree with Jack though... It's still a bit disconnected. Don't know if you've fixed it since then or not. But I like your use ...

I'm still not sure about Snape. At first I figured he had to kill Albus because of the vow... But he could have refused to, which would kill him. Surprise, ...

I love how you tackle subjects like this. It's like looking into the character's life and seeing how much (or how little) it affects them. You don't get all the ...

Okay, I FINALLY got some editing done lol. So, here's what I found. They blew to and fro, as if they were trying to break free of their trees. That ...

Well.... This was interesting. I agree with Rei on the first line. Dare I call it cliche? ;) The last part was too confusing for me. I think you have ...

Hmm... Overly-expectant? Overly-confident? I'm not sure. That's gonna bug me tonight now. I like it... There's one part that's a bit awkward to me, though. in a low end joint ...

Hmm. This is a very interesting idea so far! I really like it! Watch your sentence structures, though. For the most part it's fine, but you do have a few ...

*grins* Yeah, I can't read/hear the word "sock" and have it be completely innocent anymore. Thanks Jack.. :roll: Anyway, this was really cute! I can't wait to read more!

You are by far one of the best writer's I've come across. This is just so POWERFUL. I love everything about it. You've mastered the emotions and movements of these ...

I. LOVE. THIS. Wow Mesh.. Wow. You never cease to amaze me. I knew you were an excellent poet, but when you get emotions behind skill.. This is absolutely amazing. ...

Alright, here you go. I'm still uneasy about the small amount of errors I found.. He sees nothing, Hesitantly That should be a period after nothing. Simple mistake. Barely distinguishable ...

Wow. This is absolutely beautiful. Gosh, I'm speechless. I absolutely love it. But since that usually doesn't satisfy most writers, give me a few minutes to get my feelings out ...

*whispers to Mesh* Remember that one time I was told not to push the button and I pushed the button? Yeah. THAT'S why they started putting safety locks on those ...