ChummyJinx

Hi, there! Great chapter. It flowed really well, and I think the amount of dialogue helped with that. However, I find that it lacks detail. I mean, that leaves room ...

Hi, there! Haha! I was about to note down that you wrote "real mad" instead of "really mad," but the Author pointed that out soon after. It's kind of funny ...

I haven’t read many poems with long lines, which I find interesting and unique. I’m a little unsure about your use of punctuation. Sometimes you use periods at the end ...

This chapter opens beautifully. I was immediately drawn into the world of your story. I loved this particular image: “There’s something beautiful about watching them hover above us, like rocks ...

This is certainly random, as you had advertised it, but I find it intriguing. I’m pretty excited to see what’ll come next. Overall, I liked how quickly things moved along ...