Catriona

Sorry Adrian, but I disagree with your saying the structure is "boring". Yes, it may not be the best or anything but I happen to like it, I found it ...

Well it's mainly the first stanza that I'm unhappy with, not really sure why, just seems a little lacking. But thank you very much!!!!

Oooh thank ye! Hmm now any suggestions on improvements/changes? I only rewrote it once before posting it here, but I only changed punctuation. Any more comments are greatly appreciated!!

Thanks a bunch you guys... ok here is what I did with it the other night, still a crappy poem but I think it's better I don't know... haha (oh ...

Thank you SOOOOO incredibly much you guys!!!! I'll continue to work on it!!!! (here's the newly revised version) I think I must be like her; Delicate, patient, pleasant, She’s never ...

My heart pounds as I wait for his anger to lash out, Angrily, whipping my soft flesh until no more remains His blazing eyes lay upon me, “Dammed, girl…” His ...