Cassandra

First off, this is a really neat idea. And you have really pretty handwriting. :D Second, and more importantly, the poem: obviously I can't totally understand the poem because I've ...

Wow. This is great . First of all, there is an utter lack of spelling and grammatical errors, which made for a very enjoyable read. And secondly, the whole thing ...

I liked how each stanza started. Reminded me of "Rain, rain, go away, come again another day"...I suppose that was intentional? ;) Other than that, I'm not sure what else ...

So I suppose that you don't need the 800 word limit for school anymore? Just checking. ;) WARNING: Nitpicky grammar stuff ahead!! I wrapped my hands round the brown furry ...

The rain prickled on the back of his hands and he plucked the soggy, self-rolled cigarette from his lips, and mashed it into the grass at his feet. I would ...

Heehee, this is all so very fun to read. Your voice throughout the entire piece(s) so far has been great. Makes you feel like you're talking to an old friend. ...

The main thing to fix is all the "..."s/ellipses. In most of the places you used them, a period or comma would've probably done the job just as well, and ...

She just goes, ‘Jack, lemme do your hair,’ and so I’m like ‘okay, go crazy Doll.’ And she did.” Should be: go crazy , Doll. Just add that little comma ...

You may want to look at some other people's work before you post your own. As Nate said in the rules: 4. Before posting either your first poem or story, ...

The dialouge in this is a little forced. Listen to how people around you speak and try to incorporate that into your own writing. Also, as Brian pointed out, this ...

Since this is such a good piece, I get to be really nitpicky. :D somehow our proximity to reality seemed so far away. isolated from civilization but in proximity of ...

NO one knows Does NO have to be capitalized? Where it had begun. I'd change it to Where it began Up,up,up- Need that hyphen? The one-way ladder- Again, need the ...

Because I like this so much and this is so well written, I get to be really nit picky about the little things. :D Gravel dug into his bruised cheek ...

It is a blade sinking deeper in my skin? Should this be Is it a blade sinking deeper in my skin? The way you have it worded doesn't really seem ...

I liked this a lot. You pulled the rhyming off really well, something not everyone can do. As others have said, it had a calm yet majestic feel. I really ...