Cassandra

If you can develop your main character more, you're gold. One thing that this piece lacks is really any emotion. Obviously there's the potential for emotion there, because this is ...

If i could just get the correct spelling? ^ Copy and paste your stuff into Microsoft Word and run spell check. Or click on the "spell check" button right below ...

As hunterzero pointed out, your meter is off, which is one of the most important things in limericks, if not the most important. Read, absorb, have fun: Let me know ...

How was is it that I haven't posted in here yet? I read this book last summer and loved it. The ending was perfect, and the way you can draw ...

One thing you really don't want to do is start off your piece with a poll. Why? Because this tempts lazy people, like myself, to just vote in the poll ...

Weird, you say? This is seems more creative to me, but I suppose that, at times, they are one in the same, no? ;) I love the image that the ...

As Elizabeth and Mattie have said, there's definitely this eerie feeling I get when reading this, which is good! That means you used the words in this to make the ...

First and foremost, I am so glad you asked me to crit this. I usually don't go into the fantasy forums, so I wouldn't have seen this great piece of ...

Nice start--are you continuing this? And I love your description. It's so pretty! And near flawless grammar as well! Just two things I noticed: With the beat of the bosons ...

I disagree--this is NOT mess. It just needs some fixing up. One thing you want to do is make sure you set up the conflict very early in this story. ...

Definitely just do a read through of this--most importantly, read it aloud. To a wall, to your cat, something . What can you gain by this? Well, if you listen ...

As Sam said, yay for proper grammar! Seriously, you have no idea how much of a relief it is not to have to tell you to use commas, dammit! :D ...

A pair of big blue, Through which one day I will see. I didn't get that you were referring to eyes until near the end of the poem...maybe you could ...

Tsk tsk, Jack. Those are not excuses! I demand to see more! *Slams fist down on desk* Just kidding. :D Take your time; I know how busy life can be.

I would definitely like to see more of this. It sounds unique; I haven't read anything similar to this, anyway. It would be interesting to see what you do with ...