Carmina

I agree this poem is stronger at the beginning than at the end, but I don't know what I would change. I like how it is about jogging, or at ...

Congrats on sharing your poetry. I'll try to be gentle with you. I applaud your use of multi-syllabic words and getting them to rhyme. You have a very scructured rhyme, ...

Ignore Incandescence. I liked it. It's punchy. I can picture the speaker doing one of those angry head rolls like the chicks on Springer. Sorry, poetry makes me think of ...

Ok, the visual I got from this may be totally nuts, and I know it isn't what you were writing about, but... I pictured like two soldiers and one is ...

I tutored writing and grammar for two years. Your grammar hurts me. You are guilty of the dreaded comma splice. For example: "‘I shall ask you not to joke about ...

I thought this was a dirty poem, it seems pretty pg to me. I didn't see any stuffed crust pizza in the poem eithor. :wink: Ok, on topic. I liked ...

I like this poem. I really get it. Suggestions: the repetitions are cool as far as motif and unification, however with the length of the poem, it gets a bit ...

I normally do not like repetition in a poem, although here I don't mind. The repetition of "That is Nature"is like a refrain. That works alright. Some suggestions. For clarification, ...

There are people like this; yes, that is true. As for the actual poem I have some suggestions. It is such a short poem, I do not recommend repeating words. ...

Points for depressing, if that was your goal. I like the line "because I've never stood in the light". I think to be grammatical, you should say "I've never gotten" ...

I really enjoyed your story, but then, I'm kinda morbid and like serial killers. Anyway, some suggestions for tightening it up: [his significant other hanged herself in his closet] "Significant ...

It is exactly what the title implies. On second thought, no. It don't think it is random. Random implies no reason. That is doesn't come from anywhere. This comes from ...

I don't like most poems I read. I liked this one. Since this is supposed to be critique though, I'll come up with something. I think the name Dusk sounds ...

Which kiss are you writing about? Are you reflecting on a a second kiss with one person and comparing it to the first kiss with this person? Or are you ...

If its not about slitting your wrists, then don't start the poem with slitting your wrists. I think the poem is stronger without the first two stanzas. I actually think ...