Cameron

It's a nice poem, but unorganized. To start with, the beginning verses are divided into stanza’s consisting of two lines, but as the poem progresses you wander from this configuration ...

Slashing good language. My only issue is the different rythming scheme on 25. On the other hand though, it's effective in the way it regains your attention before immediately launching ...

I'm not sure if I completely agree with DreemDeep, I guess it works either way. I find the "The world is ever, Ever turning" gives a nice ring to the ...

It's a nice start, and a good effort for a first attempt at poetry. My only suggestion would be to give more structure to the verses and maybe rephrase some ...

I liked it. However I agree with Monkey. Also there is one verse that I thought could be improved upon. Love isn’t weightless, my failure is countless: It appears that ...

I think you have to be careful when you use parentheses in a poem. never close fully, (doors in your heart). I'm not sure if I like that you included ...

I liked this, oddly enough. However, I agree with the other comments, I would really like it if was a little more organized and easier to read. There is a ...

To begin with, sci-fi is not one of my preferred genres of literature- though I have read the odd one. For me to be able to enjoy sci-fi I have ...

With regards to Sam's comment- I could be wrong- but I interpreted "there are no children here" as stating that because of what the children have gone through in Israel ...

It sounds to me more like a long, drawn out story than a poem. To begin with, you probably could have structured your poem a bit better- the verses are ...

I too found the gender somewhat inconsistant and confusing, but it didn't distract me from the overall meaning of the poem. I simply noted it and continued reading. I was ...