Cade

Ooh. Nice. I really like the idea here, and how you kept coming back to this idea of a garden. In the first stanza, when I read, "...when gardens suffocate," ...

I second Sophie here, but it may be the entire premise of the poem that's the problem. Addressing bullies is rather...childish and doesn't really make for enjoyable poetry. Here you ...

This poem didn't make me feel anything. It didn't go anywhere. This was pure cliched teen angst. It simply lays out this situation: "Here I am standing in the bathroom, ...

Ah, my sentiments exactly. The first and third stanzas were strong in terms of feeling and tone. The second one, not so much. It was limp and kind of whiny, ...

Ooh, rhyme. I don't really know what to say about rhythm and things, but I didn't see any major problems. I'm not very good with that technical rhythm stuff. :wink: ...

Cutting that last phrase off from the previous stanza really interrupted the flow as well as the pattern of not dividing sentences between stanzas (except between two and three, but ...

Punctuation, please! You don't have to capitalize the first letter of each line, but at least do the first letter of each sentence. This poem has listed a bunch of ...

It seemed like you were attempting to have this apple motif, but it was rather limp. What does the last stanza have to do with apples? What does anything in ...

Ha! This girl has the same name as me. I've never read anything with my name in it, and it is really bizarre. I want to know what she looks ...

Although this has some beautiful images and some very poignant statements, I couldn't hang on to it. This needs a situation, a place, something for the reader to firmly set ...

This poem showed me that you are observant and able to describe things in detail. Good job on that. Just try not to write in that childish way, as saoirse ...

*hugs this poem* I really liked this. It made me think of Lord of the Rings. Just a few things: Splashes of color..a minted Monet painting. The Monet reference seemed ...

I'd say "random list of phrases" pretty much sums up this poem. The phrases are choppy, disjointed, abstract, sometimes cliche. I don't even know what this is about! It jumps ...

Ooh, very creepy, very enjoyable. The one thing I don't get...did the woman kill him? Is she crazy? Or is she pretending? What? ...I feel like this is something extremely ...

The title made me want to vomit. Word play is in no way justified here. I did like that the title tied in with the poem in terms of nicotine ...