Cade

Summer, I noticed that you posted several chapters of this all at once. Clearly, you forgot to read the Rules for posting . Take advantage of the lovely link I've ...

I liked that! Great job pulling off that rhyme scheme for such a long narrative poem. Your main job now is making your rhyme and rhythm sound natural . Otherwise ...

One thing that immediately stood out to me was the number of grammatical and spelling errors here. Obviously, these technical issues aren't all there is to your piece, but people ...

I'm ambivalent on this one, Heather. It's well-written overall, but I think it might have been overdone. Plenty of writing guides I've read advise against the use of archaic diction, ...

Like the others, and as always, I'm a fan. I disagree, though, on the beginning...I disliked the first stanza. Well, not all of it. wine bleeds in erratic patterns and ...

This seems like a typical teen angst poem to me, but that's not a death sentence. When writing about a topic as emotional as a divorce, it's easy to slip ...

I agree with Heather in that it seemed a little pointless--an exercise in description, if nothing else. It's fantastic that you can talk about things that are making the speaker ...

Realism. My main complaint is that you haven't done much to flesh the characters out or said things about them that will set them apart; their conversation is rather boring ...

Like Suz, I'm stuck between liking this poem and agreeing with Brad. I enjoy the feel and tone of the poem; you crafted it beautifully. I actually have "Across the ...

I enjoyed this piece; I think you did a fantastic job of bringing out that scary feeling described here. Flow. I think your main problem is that the writing is ...

Hey! I'll echo Sumi and say WELCOME! Yes, please try to crit other people's work when you post your own. Otherwise, no one will want to crit yours, and that's ...

I really like it when I read a poem that doesn't need my big red "cliche" stamp. I liked this quite a bit. I especially liked the way you put ...

The last line makes me very, very unhappy. I really liked the poem until then...but that line is unnecessary and really ruins the feel of the whole poem. But really, ...

You have some really gorgeous stuff here, but I feel it was too much description and too little substance. Description. The way you describe something can say a lot about ...

Hmm. Not sure what to make of this...very interesting stuff, veerrry interesting. I like the very free-form approach to it. It's confusing to read, but enjoyable at the same time...it's ...