BondGirl007

Hey Jas! Sorry I'm a little late, but better late than never, right? So let’s jump into it! I don’t even know why I bother to come any more. I’m ...

So a quick tip on this one, read over it again, you use a lot of words quite often, and very close together. Like this Nathaniel sets the book down, ...

So! Since this chapter is mostly action, and very very little dialogue, you really have to make sure the action is entertaining. Currently the action you have is kind of ...

Okay, so three quick things on this one- Formatting! Dooo ett! Jack's dialog- I feel like it's kind of like in one of those movies where it's too lazy to ...

Hey Mary! Thanks for giving me the link to your story, I don't review as often anymore and I love getting requests because I know exactly what I have to ...

Hey Mixed, so I reviewed the first part so I figured I might as well review the second. Anyway so I'm a little disappointed with this since you had a ...

So I'm going to do a pretty in depth review, I'll be changing the format, comments in blue, corrections in red. You said shred it, so that's what I did. ...

Hey Yuri! So after reading this over, in my opinion what you really need to work on is not your poetic examples, like most poems I run into, because you've ...

' "You can leave me for Alice. (Space) I know she is the one for you." Now first off, posting a snippet of a novel is rather difficult to review, ...

Right in front of me there were two guard in heavy armor , t hey were guarding a richly decorated door behind them. There was M y target. I saw ...

The kid stumbled through the forest, frightened, alone, and hungry. So as a hook this isn't very catchy. Describe the kid, the forest he's running through, the stabbing pains in ...

Well this is a very interesting piece to read. I really like it, it puts an interesting spin on childhood and growing up, and using familiar faces that people know ...

Okay, first off...Oh my good lord that is way too long to be posted. You need to break it up into pieces, it took me good fifteen minutes to read ...

Hey Amy! So the thing I think that needs fixing the most about this is you spend a whole lot of time explaining and bringing us into the setting, that ...

Thanks for asking me to review! I'm sorry it took so long to get to it, but I was away all weekend and just finally got the time, so now ...