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Re: Sparrow's Song Chapter 1 (Saiunkoku)
Hey! I'm Jay, your friendly neighborhood critic! So, this is a fantastic work! Great job. I've spotted very few things I think should be changed. This is one of them: ...
Feb 28, 2016 -
Re: War of Dawn - Chapter 5
Okay. Alll riiiiiiiight. First off, hey there! I'm Jay, your friendly neighborhood critic! So, your first paragraph feels a little awkward to me. "About a month has passed since Hilda ...
Feb 28, 2016 -
Re: Thorns Of Destiny - Chapter One
Hey! Jay here, your friendly critic! This is a really good first chapter! Most stories I read I don't even bother to finish the chapter, I'll be honest. (Too many ...
Feb 6, 2016 -
Re: Ashes of Eden
Hello, Jay here, your friendly critic! I must say, this is a really good idea! Fascinating concept! I don't have much that I really can correct. . . . Though ...
Feb 6, 2016 -
Re: She Wishes: Chapter One
Hello, Jay here, your friendly critic! I'm going to admit--Still being in love with someone who rejected you and goes out with your best friend. . . Where have I ...
Jan 30, 2016 -
Re: The Setting For One Of Our Murderous Scenes
Hey hey hey, it's me, Jay, your friendly critic! This-was-FANTASTIC! I'm not a huge apocalypse person. I never much liked reading stories about somebody/the world recovering from things like that. ...
Jan 30, 2016 -
Re: The Quest for Fire Book One ~ Into the Mists Chapter 1
Hey, Jay here, your friendly critic! This was fairly eye-catching, I must admit. However, I feel there are a few problems that I feel I must point out. It was ...
Jan 30, 2016 -
Re: Vampires of Vancity- Chapter 1
Hey, Jay here, your friendly critic! So, I must say--this is intriguing. (The majority of the stories here are.) I like your hook line at the beginning--caught my attention right ...
Jan 27, 2016 -
Re: This City of Glass (1) - Go Ahead
Hey, this was great! I'm a HUGE fan of the series by Cassandra Clare "The Mortal Instruments" and the third book is called "City of Glass"--So I knew I HAD ...
Jan 27, 2016 -
Re: The Void - Chapter 1
Dude, this is amazing! I've never much been into reading a story that seems to be emotional and difficult like this but I'm really interested in this one. The plot ...
Jan 25, 2016
