Bjorn

A few things: First off what is whitening ? Then there is your use of the accented e in perchéd . It doesn't sound very good, that is, it doesn't ...

I'm not going to give you any constructive criticism (at the moment, at least, though no promises here...), however I will have to second Snoink's approval of the poem. I ...

Aha! My very own dentist (one Dr. Ante Bilich) recommended I pick up this series. Now this man, as an avid reader, is a tough critic of books (to the ...

Ahey! Welcome to YWS. I'm really glad someone else has done a LotR-inspired poem! What I would have said has been said, so no need to re-iterrate. I shall only ...

Hoy, Pushca, unreadable?! My, my - where has todays generation gone off to? I stick by the fact that the LotR is a modern literary masterpiece, concieved by a masterful ...

One thing I picked out (though there were some others): Commercials and glimpses from tv-series from Earth fetched* that were dragged or smuggled by Snatchers fetched a huge price on ...

Lexy's slight bewilderment strengthes the fact it's too wordy and philosophical. I just read the Art of War today by Sun Tzu, and I realized that even such an important ...

I'm being honest and giving it a 9. I was going to give it a 10, but that would have been my Tolkien bias talking. An excellent story, if you ...

I finally took the time to read this! I needed to know what the fuss was! Now I can't give you constructive criticism, as when I first read something I ...

It's good. I've only done one sonnet myself-I'm not ecstatic about them, especially the rules you must follow.... :o That being said, the only thing that would technically need fixing, ...

Very good :) It seems like a metaphor for time fact, this poem sort of compliments my philosophical ramblings last night. My only suggestions are: Instead of- Where it had ...

I agree it is good, but the second stanza is still a little 'off beat'. My suggestion, instead of, in the second line of the second stanza, 'pierces and pcratch ...

The only thing that struck me, so far, were the aforementioned lines that are no 10 syllables. (first 2 lines, then lines 5 and 7). Also, for line 5 you ...

"but I'm no expert eaither , lol" No, I wouldn't say so Fishr :lol: Sorry, but you mispelt that word at the write time, and I just had to show ...

It is but the breath afore the plunge, or if you will 'The Calm Before the Storm' (A song by Dragonland). And whether intended to be or not, it sure ...