BigBadBear

Hey, there Mark! Ok, one quick thing before I get to the crit: be sure to put a space between each paragraph. This way it is much, much easier to ...

Holy moly, Gladius. Take all of the fun! Grr... well, this way good. (as always) I think that you dwelt on the bad thing from the gifts in the perfect ...

Wow. I'm not kidding. Wow. This is one of the best poems that is on the site. No joke. Alice, this is amazing... There was only one teeny thing I ...

I haven't looked at the other critiques yet so sorry for repeating anything. Like they did every day , his thoughts drifted back to her. Comma between day and his. ...

Jabber, Jabber, Jabber. I feel so bad. If you would make a mistake once in a while, I could actually critique something. But, while I'm here... This is an improvement ...

*stares at the 12 shocks of Christmas* Whoa...creepy! Ok...um, I didn't see any spelling/grammar issues, so I'll just go with the content. I don't feel for the MC. I just ...

Awesome! A kid president! That's an awesome topic that no one has really written about. Great job for coming up with something unusual to write about. This will sure be ...

Wow. Wow. Well, I'll tell you one thing: you made me care for Arion. You really did. I felt like I was her. I felt like I was actually there. ...

XD That was funny. The flow is brilliant. You have painted exceptional paintings into my head with the wonderful description. The word choice was utterly amazing! And the rhyming...oh gosh! ...

Hm... This is rather good. Your descriptions are good, and the only thing that was wrong with it was the Sean: "How long have you been standing here for?" Maid: ...

Hey! Welcome to YWS, although you are hardly new. Joined in October, eh? Haven't been on much? Anyhow, this is a good beginning. There isn't very much to critique because ...

Hey! This is the next part of that one chapter I read, where the guy went to India, right? Cool! Awesome. Amazing. Spectacular. I loved it. There weren't any mistakes ...

Well, this was really good. One little thing though: "It feels way to loose," said my mother, giving the woman a smile that didn't reach her eyes." to = too. ...

I really didn't know what to expect when I read this but now I am super dooper glad that I did. This was so funny. This was my favorite line: ...

Hahah! I don't know how you can come up with these kinds of things. So funny! The wheat is scorched the rye is dry all flavor evaporates into the sky. ...