Azila

I wanted to put way more in, but the word limit was 1000, and I already went over... once the contest is over, I'll edit it to make it better. ...

Alright, I'm back--as promised. :P Nitpicks first: It was evening on the day of the summer solstice when the gale hit the craggy beach with the force of one hundred ...

Alright, I'm back--as promised. :P Nitpicks first: It was evening on the day of the summer solstice when the gale hit the craggy beach with the force of one hundred ...

Alright, I'm back--as promised. :P Nitpicks first: It was evening on the day of the summer solstice when the gale hit the craggy beach with the force of one hundred ...

Hi there, Lupis! *gasp* You changed her name! :shock: What was wrong with 'Deuce'? Anyway, onto the nitpicks: Not bothering to brush [s]through[/s] her hair, she wandered downstairs, finding Chessie�

Hi there, Lupis! *gasp* You changed her name! :shock: What was wrong with 'Deuce'? Anyway, onto the nitpicks: Not bothering to brush [s]through[/s] her hair, she wandered downstairs, finding Chessie�

Thanks for the PM! here are some tips I can think of off-hand: Description. 1. Description of the characters can tell a lot about their characters, depending on how you ...

Hi there! I have a few more nitpicks to deliver... “Do you want the salt, Ma-” I begin to say Matty, then pause when I feel my mother’s eyes lock ...

Actually, they are beautiful. ^.^ In a kind of terrifying way, I mean. But I guess I should work on making that clearer? =P Yes, you should make that clearer! ...

The whole living alone with him half the year: because the parents would be divorced, and the father would get half custody. :P (well, every other weekend, two weeks in ...

PS. Azila mentioned that Blizzard seems moody -- she is. I was hoping that someone would notice that. =) Good! Elaborate! Make it even MORE so, so that everyone reading ...

I see. You will win! ~Azila~ P.S. How much are the prizes?

Hi there, Wolf! Sorry I didn't get this to you sooner, I saved it as a draft then my computer wouldn't let me on... Anyway: You haven't edited TOO too ...

Hi there, Cat!

Thanks, Lupis and Camille! I will definitely take your advise into account as I edit. Just a note for future reviewers: I wrote this a looooong time ago and my ...