AutumnSun

It seems to be lacking something. I think the repetition throws me off. I would suggest more imagery but the emotion is strong so good job on that. I think ...

By the way, talking about how your two identities were fused together, I liked that.

Great and inspirational! I enjoyed it. The only thing that distracted me was the repetition. I found it a bit annoying. If you either changed those lines or got rid ...

...wow...

Kind of intense but simple in a way. I enjoyed it! The 4th part was my favorite although, I'm not sure why. It flowed so well! Very original.

I really enjoyed the last 4 sections. The beginning was not bad. I just think you tried too hard to rhyme. It is pretty good though. Most people your age ...