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Re: The Secret of Experiment Block 20D
Dr. Ivor Del Treston had a secret. One that he would never tell anyone, if he could help it. Not that he did much speaking in any case, mind you. ...
Apr 6, 2011 -
Re: Tribulation
Overall, I like the clear and simple message in the poem. Most poetry fail without being abstract . . . this one is an exception. Head's achin' Back's breakin' This ...
Apr 6, 2011 -
Re: Nagori Hokosha
Overall impression, this story seems very interesting. I am curious to know what journey lies ahead for the 5. I like how you DESCRIBED each character as you introduced them ...
Apr 6, 2011 -
Re: I hate my father
I like the conflict in your story. It's very interesting. But I will have to agree with the above statement, the pace is to fast. If you look at the ...
Apr 5, 2011 -
Re: Speaking Of It...
This is beautifully written. The beauty lies in the simpicity of the words you used. Overall I am impressed. But that's not all . . . Is this a true ...
Apr 4, 2011 -
Re: Replace Batteries Immediately!
Overall, this is an inspiring article. The battery/soul analogy you used was very creative. A few things you might want to work on . . . but in the style ...
Apr 4, 2011 -
Re: Before I Die
Overall this poem is good but very . . . 'generic', in that it lacks style and creativity. I personally love poems with a twist. Poems which, when you read ...
Apr 4, 2011 -
Re: bye bye for now
I know what can I do If you are trying to say you know what you are capable of, I suggest you say, 'I know what I can do' and ...
Dec 31, 2010 -
Re: Never Give Up
Well done. Don't be afraid to post your literature here. It can only do you good. Just a few things I'd like to point out about your poem. Fight life's ...
Dec 31, 2010 -
Re: Dear You
Wow. They say honosty is the best policy. So, I'll be honest, wether it'll be harsh or not. (1) The best thing about this post is that 'real'. It's obvious ...
Dec 31, 2010 -
Re: Facing trouble times~Comments wanted
A good poem. What I like most is that it gives the reader enough space to interperet the poem in his/her own way. Make my clock goes This confuses me ...
Dec 30, 2010 -
Re: Dirty Doves (Prologue)
What a good read. You had me from the word 'go' (no pun intended). The way you started the story would keep any reader reading. I'm already keen to know ...
Dec 30, 2010 -
Re: Right Where I Want You
Very good. You seem to be very close to being proffesional. Watch out for those typos, though. There's a few things I'd like to point out. (1)[quoteThe couch had a ...
Dec 30, 2010 -
Re: A Samurai's Wound
Firstly, I want to applaude your attempt because I recognize your intent. A few things you may want to work on: They do not matter to me, so I ignore ...
Dec 30, 2010