AquaMarine

Hey! Okay, I'll just go through this for some things that stood out to me, first. When she was young, she used to run to the tree at the first ...

Hi there! This is my first review in ... a while, so bear with me. I'll go through first and just point out some things that jump out, then I'll ...

Hello there. :D I'll dive right in, shall I? I can see her. She stands with her arms crossed, waiting for the vendor to serve her. Her furrowed brows and ...

Hello there, sorry this is horribly late. (But, I suppose, better late than never. :wink: ) You've already got some good reviews on this piece, so I'll try to keep ...

Bonjour. Firstly, like I said, intimidation. What you have is a tight, thought through piece that basically works very well as it is right now. You were right to be ...

Hello there, welcome to YWS! Firstly, I think the premise of this story is nice and cute. Obviously you have a nice idea, and it just needs some more work ...

Hello there, welcome to YWS. :) Firstly, just some nitpicks. I've tried to kill my own family - which was a failure where my father and brother were concerned - ...

Hey Rachael, This review will probably crash and burn, but I'll see how it goes. Firstly, the poem is quite messy, which I'm sure you might realise. In parts, it's ...

Hello there! Right now, the biggest way I can see you improving this poem is by making it (and I'm really sorry for the generalisation here) more poetic. It's quite ...

Hello there! What I felt most with this piece is that it seems to be very disconnected. You have a nice premise for it, with the numbers, but I feel ...

Hey there! On the subject of the year '1983', is there actually a significance to it? For me, it just felt like you chose the date and you wanted it ...

Hey! You asked whether if, having not seen the title, I as a reader would have known what the story was about. I think I could have taken a pretty ...

Hi there. Firstly, it isn't just religious people this might offend. Your comment about atheists stung a little, but I'm not sure if you actually intended it to be a ...

Hi there. Who is that who wears the red mask to hide her face? Why would she hide a face? Two questions in a row seem too much, to me. ...

Hi there! Firstly, what I did like about this piece is that you managed to make it extremely powerful. Your use of short sentences, etc, really made it stand out ...