Anijumper

Whoah. This was really good! It kept me captivated the entire time, and it was creepy and sad in just the right proportions. I only have a couple little grammar ...

I actually didn't notice the ending was rushed at all once I got caught up in the story. You definitely are making me look forward to more of this. ^_^ ...

I absolutely love how you draw the reader in from the very first sentence. You've really made this scene tense without being excessively dramatic. Just a couple things I noticed: ...

the freedom fighters. Maybe you should capitalize the group name? Also, I hate to say this, but the name "freedom fighters" is associated with several other things in real life, ...

I liked how quickly I was able to get to know your characters in such a short piece, particularly the headmistress and Jet. I can imagine them pretty clearly. I ...

"My God James , What are you thinking?", the commander and chief of the United States almost screamed into the speaker phone in his office."You are really going to go ...

Alright, so this beginning is a little awkward. I can't figure out why she's looking for everyone and then she just leaves (I'm assuming she's leaving for school). There doesn't ...

I think this is good as it is, seeing as it is only a preface. It's best to leave the preface short anyway, without being too vague. I think you've ...

This story is my kind of crazy. ;) (I mean this in a good way, I promise). I'd love to read more of it when you write it (because you ...

Sometime’s there’s no warning. Nothing at all. This doesn't quite make sense. I would try "None at all." Need some apostrophes: water ' s heartbeat heaven ' s longer.. Either ...

This was interesting to read. I especially loved how you made your MC have such conflicted emotions. That's very human and something that everyone can relate to, even if they ...

I really did like Wuthering Heights. I found Joseph's accent incredibly annoying, however. It was very dark and tragic, but it definitely made you feel something. I actually preferred Jane ...

Ahh, that shapeshifter thing was so dumb! BELLA: They're not werewolves?! They're shapeshifters?! EDWARD: Yes. I've known this for 20,000 pages but didn't think it was important enough to bring ...

Overall I thought this was good. Just a few things to fix: Now we’re back to where we started. In my mom’s truck going towards my inevitable doom, Alva Oklahoma. ...

I'm not the biggest fan of short stories, but you tied this one up nicely. The children of the town saw her as The Wicked Witch like in the stories ...