Alice

Hello teardrops! This was the topic of the day, it seemed, as my hiking boots crunched over the shady leaf-littered trail. I'm not quite sure what to call this but ...

Note one: Capatilization you need to put captials in there dear. Note two: it moved too quickly, it was confusing because it had this tone where you're supposed to read ...

The chorus sounds a little akward towards the end. That's all I could find. I like the thought, it's kinda like the songs I write, not in rythmic pattern or ...

Yay! Next part! at the stick figure level. at the "stick figure level" maybe? worked out REALLY well no caps dear, put around it instead. we could not "couldn't" bright ...

Hey! I hope I can be of some help... I came to America when I was twelve, on Valentine’s Day. We don’t celebrate that in Germany. At least, not in ...

Oy vey, sciencey stuff.....Lets see if I can make sense of any of it. I love the quote in the beginning, it is very true. it failed to go to ...

dose "does" dear with a bat "with a baseball bat" sounds better, and put that all in italics. a fucking Rhino swear words can be useful in the right places. ...

They'll have to have one REALLY good make-up artist for Cedric becoming Edward, his face looks too hard, I know Edward's supposed to look solid, but his face~at least the ...

Hello! It'd be a lot easier to read if you put spaces between each paragraph dear, just hit enter twice instead of tab when you're typing it in microsoft word. ...

He has brown hair. Not dark brown, not light brown, something-in-the-middle brown. It’s not very long, but it’s not short either. It’s just long enough to be considered shaggy, or ...

I fall into this nitch all the time, its too repetitive, you don't have to do the chorus after every verse, maybe every other one. And then in the forth ...

Hello Via! If I contradict myself in here a lot I'm sorry, it's me what do you expect when I don't bother to go back and edit what I've said ...

It was too short for me to determine if it was a decently written peice or not, but what I can offer is that I liked it. It reminded me ...

First comment! Don't rely on what I say too much when it comes to grammar and things like that. Word flow and awkwardness I am very good at though. through ...

Warning: I shall be VERY nit-picky I looked [color=red]up[/color into my father’s brown his Sheriff badge and hat. I think you need a little more admiration in the description of ...