Aedomir

Hey, welcome to YWS! Firstly, I must ask you to check out the rules and FAQ, we do ask you do at least two reviews before submitting anything (review:submission, 2:1), ...

Hey! I have attached all the writing feedback in the .doc file. I would firstly like to say that I didn't really feel for Megan. I reckone we need a ...

Wow! Honestly, that jsut gave me the wow factor. I was very surprised at how well you managed to capture the Harry Potter idea, and create a poem from it. ...

Hey! This one isn't as detailed as the last, as I was being very picky and couldn't find enough fault. :wink: Anyhow, here is the crit, same format, enjoy! A ...

Wow, I loved that. I thought the style was very interesting and engaging, and it drew me in. Of course, it confuses me, but not a problem! I thought this ...

Hiya! don’ t There's a space between the contraction and 't'. Seriously, I need to get a life and quick. I would stick in a comma after 'life'. I would ...

Hey! I had a look a your message you left, and I thought, why not?! I can run faster [s]then[/s] 'than' and I can pick up twice my own body ...

Hehe! I see they have turned this into a movie already :wink: it must be good. Alright! On to the crit. I love the first line, I thought it was ...

Heya! Alright, I just had one major drawback. I loved the idea, but I wasn't in touch with the emotion. I need to know how this person is feeling after ...

I enjoyed that poem, well done! Like Medusa said, be careful of excessive -ing verbs. In terms of portrayal, and iagery I thought it wasn't bad, but I felt the ...

Hi Mortality! Nice to meet you! Anyhow, on to the crit: Tales of Ye Old Araina From this title, I am unsure whether this will be taking the mick out ...

I can just see him getting into a really bad situation with that king-with-the-bad-name and then he sees a light and a magic god comes down, kills Galba-(my conciense won't ...

Wow aestar! I really enjoyed, some mature points were mentioned. Imagine that you are a helpless child, Young rambunctious and wild. A semicolon may work better than a comma here. ...

Well, I am in the mood for a good crit here, so here goes! Her beauty overthrew him, she was the one thing he had ever truly wanted . [s]the ...

Hey! I think you posted this in my 'Want a review thread' a while back. So... I loved the start. That bit caught my attention and I loved your use ...