Adnamarine

Words can mean too much; words can hurt too much. Like a song on a summer breeze, words can and will touch. Whatever you decide, love, please, don't write to ...

Alrighty, first of all, I feel like you took no advantage of the extra length. You continued thoughts and ideas that weren't that interesting in the first place, combining them ...

Hi, Jayandkay. The style and intensity of this story is undeniable. It's unique and vibrant. What it lacked was the ability to hold my attention beyond the first three sections. ...

hai Kate =) You don't mean "bear" with you, do you? ;) This is very creative, and for a light, silly piece, quite good. Even your rhyme scheme (and I'm ...

For a first attempt at poetry, I expected worse. =) I have to be honest when I say, however, that it was slightly... boring. One of the most important things ...

Welcome to Yewis umutoni. =) Not sure exactly where to start. Frankly, this reads like prose. Now, what exactly is the difference between poetry and prose? Part of it has ...

Hey Erica. The biggest thing missing from this poem is any kind of imagery, and it misses that a lot . You use the idea of paths, but if you ...

Hi, Megan. To start with structure, you've got a good rhythm going. (Rhythm=the pattern of syllables resulting in a poem that flows smoothly) Something I always suggest regardless is that ...

Sorry it took me a while to get to this. :D You very rarely venture past the confines of Hyvria.” This isn’t realistic in terms of dialogue. It’s the kind ...

As requested :) Here are the changes I would make. Your words, they flare arguing, battling, [s]my thoughts[/s] m y thoughts are brave always awaiting freedom comma [s]My thoughts [/s] ...

Punctuation This is very rare for me, but I like this poem without punctuation. You managed very well to keep things clear without it, which I know can be difficult. ...

Sorry it took me a couple days to get this up. Here you are: Punctuation Even in poetry, run-ons and fragments are unacceptable. Either you have punctuation in your, or ...

Everyone else had wonderful advice for you, and I think they covered almost everything, grammar-wise. A few things I don't think anyone mentioned: I ran to you when I was ...

Here, as requested. His unique attire indicated that he was a cutthroat. Unique attire meaning simply the scarf? Or something else also? And the scarf wouldn’t really be enough to ...

Sorry I didn't get to this sooner, but here I am as promised. =) A fence that was tall enough that even Nicholas, at six feet tall, could not see ...