Adnamarine

Beneath the gate of shadows lives a man who was left with only the fires of Hell to warm him. This line is too long; it doesn't fit the rhythm ...

My heart, silently beating . c ries out to you. My love, strong and true This line is kind of random. What about your love strong and true? It's not ...

Hey Peri! This is completely wonderful:) It's so cute. At first I was going to say that the voice was too mature for a five-year-old (and what do I find? ...

"For you are that immense stretch of space," This line breaks up the rhythm; it's too long. " 'What would it be like, to sink up into the clear blue ...

First of all, I would get rid of the italics. It's unnecesarily distracting and makes it somewhat difficult to read. What if I kill myself? What are you going to ...

I don't know whether I've read anything by you before, so I can't say whether this is better than your old style, but I do like your style and voice ...

Sorry to dredge this up, but I was reading Via's exceptional poetry, and I had to say something about this... Being as absolutely in love with the whole story of ...

I haven't quite gotten through this book completely yet, but it's so good:) I love Mr Tilney. He's quite witty more often than not. I watched two different movies of ...

I have to say, I'm not Tamora Pierce's greatest fan. Not remotely. But this is one awesome book! I must admit, I've yet to read the second one even though ...

I do like this. In the beginning especially your structure is interesting. Mostly what I'd suggest is not trying to rhyme everything after 'Gone.' It struck me as forced and ...

This is... well done... in structure, rhythm, punctuation, grammar, and all that it's good. Very good, in fact. I just couldn't really bring myself to care about it, though. It ...

Definately interesting. And you're right, it does have good flow. Slightly creepy... but I guess that was kind of what you were going for? The repetition at the end was... ...

The revised version was much better than the first. It still is a bit obvious. If I were you I would get rid of "A storm is a powerful beast" ...

Oh crap. I wrote a lovely review and then my computer decided to be stupid. But I'll try to remember what I said... A thousand stars stared back, splattered on ...

They give you names and numbers-- just for you , but not unique. Perfect rhythm, I love this verse. They take comfort in your empirical structure. If you don't fit ...