100xstupid

Now that was much, much better. It really engaged the reader, and thank you for a little more background on them. Things are still mysterious, and yet we know enough ...

Thanks :D. I thought of it in an English lesson when we were doing poetry, and it's based loosely on experience (Not that I'm an adult, but I've seen/heard about ...

I love how it flows along. I hope you're not really giving up, your words need you! I like the rhyming scheme of abca, because it means that you don't ...

2 be honest, I knew that the "but not here" didn't flow very well but I don't really like writing poetry much and i didn't write it to be good, ...

“I don’t care, fare is fare!” This should be changed to "I don't care, fair is fair .

By the way, I've updated this one according to the critique I got on the original version. I just want to point out that the entire thing is told by ...

Oh yeah, I didn't mean the YWS big brother or the 1984 one, but the one that produced people like Chantelle. If I had thought of the YWS big brother ...

I find it strange that only two people would survive a battle, both of whom happen to be higher ups. Either you should mention an army stood behind them or ...

"She always checked, that why." It should say: "She always checked, that's why." Love the main charectors name, very original.

ok, i'll go do my reveiws now before i get into trouble. Thanks for the praise!

Wow, thank you so much for the glowing praise. So far the only reveiws i have had are from family so i am glad to hear an outsiders opinion, really ...