*Twilight*

Hmm that is a very inventive idea you might be able to pull it off if you add enough twists and have some sort of danger of collecting the mist. ...

That was funny I love stories with nothing but random craziness. That is why I watch bobobo-bo-bobobo on Toonami. I like the third chapter it made me laugh when they ...

At first it was hard for me to stay interested due to the long description of the hustle and bustle of the meeting. But, I'm glad that I kept reading ...

Well this was interesting. I was confused because the first part is hard to read. You're writing style is...different and it is a little hard to follow but I really ...

Well with this being a prolouge I don't really know anything other than she is in a cell she has been there for a long time and she just got ...

Don't take this the wrong way way Backgroundbob but, you're like the Simon cowell of the yws. Harsh but, true. Now if you look at the core meaning of the ...

Yes weapons and power dosen't nessicarily make a good character. Personality Is key. If you were to meet your characters in person right now would you like them? Would they ...

The description was good I was able to picture a decent amount of details in my head. At the start I thought they were exploring an old abandoned house but ...

Yes, this one is better but you still need to include more description of the dwarf's surroundings. After having this flashback Gerhart stepped up onto a boulder and replied “If ...

Only one thing stood between me and the approaching Caterpillar . My sword. I tried to slice the evil thing but it was two small I missed every time, I ...

You did a pretty good job describing the battles. I could picture it in my mind very well but, the thing is you didn't describe the scenery so I had ...

So far the writing isn't bad but, it is always better to post many long paragraphs of your story at first to grab your reader and get them interested. So ...

I like the plot idea. If you are trying to decide which of your stories to continue this would be the one in my opinion. It is more original than ...

This was a very inventive story. I like the way all of the magicians met at this magic fairground it seems like an interesting place but, it could use a ...

I like the way you described the fight, it all pieced together in my head nicely. You definately know your stuff when it comes to writing fight scenes. Azrael, seeing ...