This sounds like a greeting card, I don't mean it in bad way I just mean that you express your feelings so simply and sweetly I think maybe you should capitalise your "I's" though. Other than that very nice.
yeah, you did really well with the rhyming...better than i ever could, of course...some people are good with making their poetry rhyme. and then others,like myself, are rather unsuccessful.
Aww, that poem is so sweet! I love it. Particularly the inversion in the first stanza - "I need you/as you need I" - very clever. My only little bits of criticism would have to be that you should change the "its" in that stanza ("its eye to eye") to "is" - I cant help reading it like that anyway and it seems to make more sense; and in the last stanza, I think "continues" ("continues to grow") should be changed to "will always" or something like that - "continues" seems too many syllables for the rhyme scheme somehow. In my opinion.
I adore the second stanza, exactly as is...
"conversations last for hours as we sit in fields of fragrant flowers" Such vivid visuals in so few words! Its awesome. I can just picture myself in a fragrant field talking with a loved one. Beautiful imagery. I would love to see a greeting card made out of this! But dont capitalize the i's. It gives it something...I dunno, like a personal touch or something - a quirk - with them in lowercase, and lends something to the flavour. Like it was written by a precocious kid or something, you know? Hard to explain, but this is definitely one of my favourites. Keep up the good work!
Not bad. Though I didn't really like the "as you need I" part. It just sounded kind of silly. Rhyming poetry is great, but don't sacrifice grammar just to rhyme a word. It will sound just as good with an inconsistant rhyming scheme if you use "me." My only other suggestion is to maybe expand on this in order to make it more personal. because it really does sound a bit like a greeting card.