As many of us know, since 2008 the author of the popular Harry Potter series has mounted increasingly serious efforts to join the Young Writers Society. And as we have all agreed time and time again, this is not in the best interest of YWS. How are we meant to compare when such a literary giant is posting alongside us? How will we keep out the swarms of posers who join just to get a little closer to Rowling? They obviously wouldn't be posting their own work, and our lives would become a cycle of whack-a-mole with troublesome Potterheads.
And wasn't it mysterious when she launched her own site for young people in just 2009? Clearly this was an attempt to overthrow the popularity of YWS. Lucky for her she altered the purpose of her new website just in time to escape the lawsuit we had in the works!
But now, after months of silence, Rowling has come among us again. Under the guise of LovelyLuna9361820xx she posted sixteen works in just under two hours -- leaving eloquent and thoughtful reviews on many of the green room works to earn the points for such a feat -- and made some rather unseemly blog posts that read simply "neener neener neener" as if we were children on a playground. Luckily Big Brother was able to clear the evidence of her awful presence nearly as soon as it arrived and no one should be the wiser.
Clearly this is a woman who just won't stop. And I think it's time we take action. A mere threat of a lawsuit isn't enough to sway her, and so I think we need to take this up with a greater governmental agency so that this online terror can be silenced once and for all. There's truly no knowing what she could do next.
I have the contact information for the appropriate agencies, I just need a majority vote in favor of kicking Jo Rowling to the metaphorical internet curb where she belongs.
