Read aloud
-
-
-
over and over
my life is a never ending cycle
a light i forgot to turn off
a nightmare that won't go away
-
over and over
like a clock
running on infinite batteries
i can't catch a break, can i?
-
i wake up
and i do school
equations that i just can't remember
unanswered textbook questions
-
my life is an unfinished sentence
with no punctuation
no time to breathe
no time to stop and rest
-
i think sometimes
that there's no possible way
i could keep going
i can't do it
-
but i do
over and over
backward and forward
again and again.
-
i think
'wouldn't it be easier
if i could just...
stop?'
-
no more anxiety
no more pain
no more repeating it
over and over
-
but i can't
i can't do it
not for me
for them
-
so i continue
over and over
backward and forward
-
again and again.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
142,152 Literary Works • 676,789 Reviews
I'm not one to read poetry very often, so this was a delightful treat. Reading this felt like I was punted back right back into high school. The dread that comes with knowing you have no choice but to continue marching along with time is something I think everyone can relate to. It's also something this piece portrays well, especially with the repetition of certain words.
This in particular stuck out to me. On its own, I think it's great. But in relation to the rest of the piece, I struggle to understand its inclusion and how it connects to the overall theme. It's a brief deviation, but it's not enough to take away from the rest of the poem. It's like a little bump in the road, so to speak.
Overall, I really enjoyed this and the unintentional trip down memory lane it gave me.
thank you!
This is so relatable. I love how you reinforced the repetition of days in our lives and how life could be a cycle we go over anD over again. “my life is an unfinished sentence with no punctuation is one of your strongest images. It connects the feeling of never getting a break with something very simple and relatable: a sentence that never gets to end. One thing i also like is when you say “like a clock / running on infinite batteries”
It gives the feeling that time keeps moving whether you are ready for it or not.
i think
'wouldn't it be easier
if i could just...
stop?'
I think here might need some polishing but taht depends on your audience for this poem. It might seem like a tone shift between repetition and suggesting ending life entirely so might want to be careful about what that stanza implies but overall good job well done and I really enjoyed reading your work I hope to read some more in the future and remember poetry doesn't need to be filled with metaphor and rhymes for it to be good but to be filled with stuff from the heart
:D thank you so much