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by yumi


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.

THE BOURNE LRGACY

This movie would have been perfectly acceptable as a stand-alone action film. It features gripping action sequences, as well as a strong performance from Jeremy Renner, who played Aron Cross in the starring role. However, as a continuation of the excellent Bourne series, this movie fails to live up to the high standards set by the earlier films in the franchise in nearly every way.

The action is gripping yes, but nothing in The Bourne Legacy approaches the climax in The Bourne Ultimatum. In fact, The final chase scene in Legacy was weak comparatively. And Aron Cross was nowhere near as interesting as the rogue Treadstone agent Jason Bourne. And speaking of Jason Bourne, where the hell was he anyway? One can only speculate, because wherever he was, he wasn't in Legacy. I wonder, was it even fair to use the Bourne name for this film? If you changed the names of the gov't operations, there would be almost nothing to tie it to the rest of the series at all. 

The Bourne Legacy was a clear attempt to capitalize on the success of the previous 3 films, and nothing more. This fact becomes evident as you watch the film. While The Bourne Legacy managed to keep me engrossed all the way through, the plot seemed uninspired. The fourth film was just one film to many, in my opinion.

WONDER WOMAN & CAPTAIN MARVEL

Captain Marvel was badass in the beginning, and badass in the end. In a word, "Bland". Marvel's scraps, served to late, because Wonder Women did it better.

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"I'm offended by DC's lack of diversity. Wonder Woman should be cast as an elderly disabled trans black man.

SUPERNATURAL

Ever since my brother Johann blessed me with access to Netlix, I have had a golden opportunity to catch up with all my favorite shows and form a definitive opinion on them. Lately, I've been marathoning the lackluster later seasons of the CW Networks flagship show, Supernatural.

Seasons 1-5 was a show made to tell a story. And it was great. It represented an idea of a uniquely, quintessentially American take on classic folklore, myths and monsters - an idea that had previously been touched on but never deeply explored by shows like X-Files or Buffy (although it was the central focus of the novel American Gods) - and refined it through the perfect blend of genres as an action/horror/noir roadtrip show set in Smalltown USA. They escalated season by season towards a planned conclusion, and finished telling that story in a very climactic, conclusive way.

Season 6 is like a little stand-alone adventure with ok but less-good writing. Season 7 is the same thing but worse, especially as it leaves you realizing - when it undermines season 6 - that the show is heading off the rails

After that, the show is a soap opera: nothing matters, nothing changes. The characters are sometimes amusing, but ultimately they're coasting on characterization from S1-5, with strong writing now largely replaced by plot-driven angsty melodrama.

But I still kind of love it.

GODZILLA (MICHAEL BAY)

If Michael Bay films were the gold standard for big budget action spectaculars, then the new Godzilla would be a triumph. 

The problem is, waiting until the third act to see a proper monster fight in a monster movie in which the only interesting character is a massively talented star who isn't around nearly as long as anyone would like is a poor way to set up this type of film. Brian Cranston does an excellent job of getting the viewer invested in his character so that his absence is noted. 

But unfortunately, the movie fails to please as a whole, and while the payoff from the climatic actions scene is far and away more rewarding then anything in Pacific Rim, most of the movie is a patience exercise, waiting for something interesting to happen. If you want to devour a visual feast of chaos and destruction, treat yourself with an old Blue-Ray instead.

THE HAUNTED VAGINA

I have commenced reading the E-book version of The Haunted Vagina by Carlton Mellick III, a story about a woman's vagina, which acts as a gateway to the world of the dead. I like the idea of a haunted vagina: at least on Halloween you don't have to decorate it, and it will definitely scare the shit out of people...

RANDOM VAGINA FACT: Vaginal pubic hair, has a life expectancy of about three weeks, is not just a biological accident designed to force you to the waxing salon. In fact, vaginal hair has a couple critical uses. First, it serves as a reproductive billboard to alert potential mates that females are biologically prepared to procreate It is also a pheromone carpet, and traps the scents that lead potential mates to the "Promised Land."

ARGUABLY

Purchased for myself today a copy of Arguably: Essays. a 2011 book by Christopher Hitchens. Composed of many essays he wrote for The New York Times Book Review, Vanity Fair, and many other publications, a brief glance at the table of contents reveals that a wide range of subject matter is covered in this 800+ page volume. Hitchens is one of the finest writers I have ever come across, and whatever the topic may be, I'm sure he will express himself well, with wit and intelligence. I'm also sure this book will provide me with plenty to think about.

MAD MAX

Mad Max delivers as an action movie. But those calling it an "instant classic" need to calm down. Mad Max is a visually imaginative, pulse-pounding spectacle, but it certainly has none of the subtle, all time great acting performances that made films like The Godfather true film classics that appeal to nearly everyone. Mad Max is unique enough to set itself apart from the usual action flick, but the story isn't that great.

ATLAS SHRUGGED

FINALLY finished Ayn Rand's novel "Atlas Shrugged." What a long and repetitive pile of shit. If she really believed her own bullshit about selfishness as a virtue, and that caring for the least among us was tantamount to a sin, then she was certainly in the running as a psychopath!

BATMAN V. SUPERMAN

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is a misnomer. It's not about one hero fighting another, not about the Dark Knight trying to pummel the Man of Steel. No, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is a movie at war with itself. And it loses. 

Zack Snyder clearly wants to make Great Films, and he means for BvS to be about something, to make some commentary about courage in a cynical world (or whatever). But, like any superhero movie, it can be boiled down to "honesty and courage = good," so the ponderous shots of billowing capes and bullet casings falling in slow-mo aren't cinematic fillips-they're weight around its neck. 

This is where Batman v Superman falls apart. By succumbing to its try-hard tendencies, it loses all spontaneity. There are moments of joy, but they are far too few. Of its 151-minute running time, about 23 are truly enjoyable. In other words, one in six moments here is worth watching. With odds like that, it's a bad bet-no matter who's fighting.

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Life is about losing everything.
— Isabel Allende