Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language and mature content.
The Butterfly Effect
The Butterfly Effect is a movie about a young man (played by Ashton Kutcher) who finds a way to travel back through time and alter his own past, hopefully for the better. Things don't turn out well, as the time traveler learns that any actions he takes to rectify past mistakes only winds up destroying the future for both him, and everyone else he loves.
Gradually, he realizes the awful truth about himself. The truth that many of the best of us suspect about ourselves from time to time, and so many more of us desperately need to understand: life would be better for everyone if we could go back to where our mothers were going in to labor, and strangle ourselves in her womb.
The Butterfly Effect is a thrilling, inventive, and yes, even dark and disturbing romantic science fiction film that managed to do the almost impossible for me: it made me care about the fate of Ashton Kutcher. If I said I loved this movie, that would be an understatement as close to a lie as an understatement can be. The Butterfly Effect is hands down one of the best movies I have ever seen in my life. If for whatever reason you haven't seen it yet, you should definitely see it. NOW.
Baghead: a black comedy movie about a group four part time actors actresses who are selfish, juvenile, dull and, worst of all, just completely uninteresting, who isolate themselves in a remote cabin in the woods in order to write a screenplay they will all star in, where they are attacked by a person with a bag over his head. It's a film where drunk, lazy-minded people get together and try to create a movie by writing ideas on a slip of paper and passing it around so others can scribble amendments. Based on the quality of "Baghead," it seems safe to assume this is autobiographical.
This movie is terrible, nothing works in it. The acting is bad, and the script is even worse. The basic plotline of the film is tiered to begin with, and it isn't at all frightening or funny. It's relationship movie masquerading as a horror movie that elicits the same amount of laughs as the prospect of attending your mothers funeral would. I seriously regret the hour and a half or so of my life wasted so far watching this pile of shit
"Joker" is a joke of a movie, an entire film insincerely deep and trolling it's audience into outrage and outrageous box office success for all the wrong reasons. It is an overlong Oscar-baity origin story/ character study of the most over-used character in the Batman cannon. It is cliched, predicable, and transparently pandering to pretentious peacocks successfully by parroting far better movies, which (SURPRISE!) most of them have not seen, even as it erases essential elements from the DNA of it's titular character.
Joker," is like its namesake in that it is s a calculatedly combustible, mostly competent cocktail, a poisonous potion provided to stir up toxically political polemics on both sides and ride the wave of controversy to the top of the Box Office-a chaos driven scheme as worthy of the Joker moniker as Arthur Fleck is not.
Instead of this trite, Nolan/Scorsese-esque crimeshit, smart potential viewers should re-watch Taxi Driver instead, because if backstage political drama is enough to make you flock to this flick and flood it with critical praise, you just might be as disappointingly relevant but as unrecognizably dumb as the the Joker in 2019.
The Last Jedi
The Rise of Skywalker sucked more than a "jonesing for" crack whore performing under the pissed off gaze of her pistol whipping pimp.. objectively. Can you still like it, especially as a no brainer fun time at the movies, for people who don't care about Star Wars or her past? Absolutely! You don't need to be in a relationship to appreciate a good blow-job! But if you remotely analyze this film technically, looking for even the basic elements of competently crafted cinema such as pacing, directing, editing, effective use of characters, good dialogue, stakes..you will find yourself with precious little to praise, and a plethora of other, much better "dumb fun" block-busters more worthy of the big box office bucks, and you should expect far more from a product bearing the regal Star Wars name.
If you are a true Star Wars trivia spouting connoisseur, complete with life-seized Darth Vader action figure, underwear, socks, and kleenex box, if Star Wars is the greatest pleasure in your life, your greatest love.. this film might make you re-evaluate your life choices and your relationship. If it doesn't, if you decide you will love Star Wars no matter what, that you will go in expecting to love this "changed version", despite all the lies, the unfulfilled promises and the verbal abuse, blaming you for it and her poor performance, then begging you to take her back...then you will enter the theater, receive a black eye for your money and attention, and walk out happy to have had an experience at all and blaming your expectations.
If this is you, you are not in love, you are in an abusive relationship, and I cannot help you. In part because you do not think you need nor do you want to be helped, but more likely because you are at least three times as fucked up as reading this should lead you to believe I am.