A/n: I still can't believe how far we've come lol. CHAPTER TWENTY TWO (By the way, try to guess who's in the picture! If you want a hint, the one in the middle is someone who hasn't appeared in a while. (Look at his hair, and you might guess). Hopefully you can guess the one on the left and the right.

The girls' team is also at the courts, but they're already finished with their game. Each of them have a sweat towel and seem to be in some type of argument. Thea seems to be the most vocal of all the team members, but Alex knows that's expected. Uninterested in whatever topics that the girls argue about, he finds that his own team has a few bumps that need to be straightened.
Immediately realizing that there are quite a few problems encircling the team, Alex decides to get to work. If he can't get them fixed quickly, Marble Creek could be in a really bad predicament during the game.
Problem one, which is probably the most obvious one, is that Chris, for some reason, seems terrified of the other team's captain.
"Are you scared of Connor?" Alex pokes Chris' back.
Chris flinches and says flatly, "No."
After one word, Alex already knows how Chris feels about this topic. It's not very normal for Chris to be so flinch-y.
"Really?" Alex crosses his arms and stares up at Chris, "Then how about I give you two choices. Either you get your head in the game and stop being so scared of an opponent, or I'm only going to call you 'Christopher Miller' for the next entire week, including during school, near your friends, and around your classmates, teammates and acquaintances."
Dramatically shivering in fear, Chris nods, "I think I'm more scared of you now."
"You'd better be," Alex frowns. He never really liked threatening people, but he knows Chris would be really prone to threats, especially to ones about his first name.
Problem one: solved.
Problem two, which is probably one that only Alex would be able to notice, is that Dwayne is starting to act cocky. A lot more cocky than usual.
The audience, cheering for a team in a game Dwayne isn't even playing in, roars after a scored point. Alex sees Dwayne visibly trying to hide a giddy smile.
Dwayne and Thea are much too similar. For Thea, every time the ball lands into her hands, she suddenly feels a burst of energy and power. For Dwayne, it's similar. He also seems to have the opposite problem of the usual player. Dwayne almost never gets nervous during a game. Either he has nerves of steel or he's stupid. Alex suspects that it's probably a combination of both. In fact, Dwayne seems to get less nervous during a game.
Alex begins, "Dwayne-"
"No no no no no no no," Dwayne turns around, facing Alex with a smile that seems a bit too magnanimous for a guy so short.
"Uh, what?"
"You don't need to ask for my help, even though I'd gladly accept," says Dwayne. How exactly did he come to that conclusion?
"Dwayne, you-"
"Shh, quiet. Let me listen to the sound of the crowd for a bit longer."
"Okay, Dwayne can you hear yoursel-"
"Alex, I know you are trying to tell me something, but can it wait?"
"Dwayne, if you don't shut up and sit down right now, I am going to convince Jacob to not put you in the game," Alex growls. Alex inwardly sighs-- I had to resort to threats again.
For a moment, Dwayne seems genuinely scared, but he replies, "That makes no sense. Why would you want to get rid of an asset like me?"
"Jacob!" shouts Alex, "Can you come over here for a mo-"
"Okay, okay, okay!" Dwayne grumpily says, "Really, you're ruining my moment here."
He stomps away, but is still visibly grinning.
"And our final problem here," Alex frowns, murmuring to himself, "Is that we're going to need to rename the Crazy Trio to the Nervous Trio."
"What if we lose?" Hunter screeches. Alex had walked over to them hastily, considering the time they had to warm up was shortening by the second.
"Then we'll come back again next year," Alex smiles, and then realizes that neither him nor the Crazy Trio have a 'next year'.
"We're eighth graders, dude!" Brady frowns, "We don't have a next year."
"We can't go to high school without winning at least once!" Josh says frantically, "Come on, we need to win."
"Calm down! If you go into the game nervous like this, we might actually lose! When you three weren't here, we beat one of the best teams in the league!" Alex grabs Hunter and Brady's shoulders, noticeably leaving Josh out because . . . Alex doesn't have three arms.
"But . . . haven't you heard the stories about this team?" whispers Josh.
"I have. It doesn't mean we have to be affected by it," Alex growls.
"But-"
"Just because this risk is high, the team is scary, and we're immensely inexperienced, doesn't mean that we have to go in shivering and sweating!" Alex roars.
After a short pause, Brady gives a weak grin, "You know, you kind of sounded like a real team captain just then."
"I am a real team captain. Now shut up and start warming up," Alex sniffs.
The warm-ups begin. Both teams take a side of the court to warm-up on, and Alex starts feeling confident. We can win this!
The warm-ups end quickly, and Jacob calls in the five of them for a starting lineup.
"We'll have Hunter, Brady, and Josh on the bench," Jacob says, "The rest of you . . . give us a good initial push, and then we'll just pull our way through the rest of the game. Got it?"
"All right," Alex grins. Jacob must be happy that there are finally substitutes. If any of the players don't play to Jacob's satisfaction, they could be subbed out of the game.
"Go make Marble Creek proud. By the way, what's our mascot?" Jacob asks.
"I'm . . . not sure. I don't think that was ever mentioned," Alex laughs.
"What kind of team are we if we don't even have a mascot?" grumbles Spencer.
Chris smirks, "Our mascot will be Jacob."
"No, I'll be the mascot!" Dwayne shouts.
Alex smiles. This team has come a long way. When they had first met, it was almost like the team was full of seperate players. Maybe during this game, Alex can watch as his teammates crush the opponents.
"Apparently," Colin says, "Our mascot is the jackal. Marble Creek Jackals."
"What even is that?" Dwayne blinks. How typical of him. By this point, Alex begins to not doubt Dwayne's lack of brain cells.
"Jackals on three!" Jacob shouts with a smirk, "One, two three . . "
"Jackals!" shouts the team, laughing and grinning ear to ear.
The five of them walk onto the court, high-fiving and fist bumping each other. The spirit is high, and Alex doesn't doubt that each of them will play strong.
"Chris, go do the tip-off," Alex pokes him, "We believe in you."
As Chris walks forward into the center circle, the jumper on Jackson Wills' side goes in as well. Remembering the captain, Alex smiles at him. Connor returns the smile, but with narrowed eyes, making Alex nearly jump.
What's with those eyes? They were so nice-looking a moment ago. Now he seems . . . determined . . . but in a threatening way.
When the game is about to start, Alex notices that Connor is actually quite short compared to Chris.
However, when the ball is thrown into the air, Chris seems almost frozen. Connor jumps up and slams the ball back to his team.
What?
And before he knows it, the game has begun, while the illusion of high spirits a moment before begin to shatter, with their pieces scattered and crushed underfoot like the dead leaves of autumn.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Hiya Yoshi!! It's been a while-- hope everything's going well for you! ^^ I'm here for a review, so let's get started C:
First off, I appreciated how this chapter was so organized-- Alex tackles each problem one by one while preparing for the game. This helped me not get lost in the story, and also added to Alex's character by showing how he deals with problems.
Speaking of how he deals with problems, the way he solves most of them with threats makes me a bit wary of how things are going to turn out... Usually, I feel like other solutions, like talking with Chris about why he's scared of the other team's captain, would be more effective. I like how you show that in the end of this chapter, where Alex's short-term threat solutions start falling apart. It's realistic, and I feel like it could be an opportunity for Alex's character to grow.
I also really enjoyed the camaraderie within the team before the game-- their banter about the mascot put a smile on my face. I think I remember reading the first few chapters of this novel, and it's awesome to see how the team's grown closer together. I'm really rooting for them now!
Okay, and now for a couple specifics...
To me, the sentence above flows a bit weirdly. I think something like, "Alex is uninterested in..., though, because he finds that..." might sound a little better? Just a thought!
XD The dialogue between these two characters cracked me up. I think one of your strengths is that your dialogue just flows so well and seems like what people would realistically say in those situations. So great job there!
This is another sentence that sounded a little weird in my head. Maybe something like, "At this point, Alex isn't even doubting Dwayne's lack of brain cells." would work? It might need a little workshopping, though I do get what the sentence is saying. c:
Ouch 0.0 That was a vivid simile, and I'm getting worried for this team now...
Overall, I enjoyed reading this chapter! I'll probably have to check out the next one too, just to see what happens to the team. Keep writing, and have a wonderful day/night!! =D
#ReviewTag
Thanks for the review
Fantastic work!
Hi Yosh,


Mailice ici avec und brève critique!
You are really on fire with the latest chapters. I like that.
I hadn't experienced that kind of "before the game" atmosphere in KotC, but I thought it was very fitting. I liked the mood you set and how you dealt with Alex's problems one by one. Thought you were going to start playing, I thought it was a great role you showed here. Alex has definitely put some ambition here and shown that he is the captain. Even if some of his methods are a bit questionable and not quite okay, I think he's already got the hang of how things are going to go and knows how to behave next time and how to motivate and calm / stop the group from doing something.
His way of dealing with Chris and co. of course also clearly shows that Alex is serious about the game and also about winning. You did a great job of portraying this motivation, especially because you didn't interject it directly, from his head, but connected it to the other characters.
I'm very curious about Dwayne. What's going on with him? Has he swallowed something he shouldn't or is he having a second puberty spurt? I think that will be clarified in some points, but for the time being it seems a bit strange and I won't go into that. But I like the way you also tried to include NPCs in the descriptions here, so you could also feel that atmosphere.
Alex solved the last problem with the Crazy Trio as elegantly as he built it up. It also makes me curious with the note that they are going to a different school next year, how the school system is set up. I strongly assume that it is the American one and how it looks like with the classes there.
What was a bit of a highlight towards the end was the question about a mascot. I liked that inclusion and never thought about the team not having one at all.
You also end the chapter with a very exciting announcement, of course, just when the game starts. I'm still curious to see how you're going to portray that.
In summary, it was a great chapter. I didn't find anything wrong with the writing and I liked how reading it made me feel a bit like an intern watching Alex at work.
Other points that caught my eye:
Ah, the former Acting United States Secretary of Defense. I know him.
You don't really notice here that Alex is going to Dwayne. You put in a good section, but to me it seems like Alex is still with Chris or something, thinking about Dwayne.
Isn't that a bit too discriminatory?
That would probably the best and most fearsome plot twist of all time.
The transition is a little rough and I think you could make it a little more elegant here. Also, you write the term "warm-up" three times here, where I think you could at least rewrite it in the last sentence so that it reads differently.
A dwarf.
Didn't expect that. It fits.
Now that I've reached the end, I realise that I've been sitting here writing this for over an hour because I kept getting distracted.... I don't really have the head for the drawing and the guessing game now either, but I think I'll come back to it.
Amuse-toi bien à écrire!
Mailice
Merci pour la critique!
yEAHHHHHH
if i remember, i guess :]
Well, I mean, calling somebody by their full name at all times is weird in itself.
I mean . . . Alex never said it out loud . . .
that would have been a HILARIOUS mistake if I accidentally said "He grabs their shoulders" LOLOLOLOLOL
Unfortunately, Alex and the Crazy Trio's part story will probably end by next year.
Merci encore pour la critique!
-crabe yoshi
i guess the little 'guess the character thing' is kinda to test people who have read everything up until now