Published May 16, 2010
milk n. 1. Nutritious and essential substance that is fed to a child by his or her mother in infancy. Warm. Not remembered. 2. White processed and pasteurized liquid served cold from the fridge. 3. Something you do not cry over when spilled. 4. Substance which turns my brother and me into baby cows as we drink it by the pint from plastic jugs with straws at night while watching television. Something I get teased for when ordered in a restaurant instead of a soda or water. It is what will make me grow strong bones and get taller, so says my mother, giving my towering brother as an example of this. It is what will keep my knees from crumbling like my grandmother’s, leaving me unable to walk for ten years as I grow more obese, so says my father as he watches his mother slip away.
A cradle to grave prose-poetry piece written for my creative writing class. The assignment was to imitate a dictionary definition, but use your past experience to define a word.
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Hiya!
I liked this piece. It was definitely adorable, and I can tell how you factored the assignment you were given into writing this, especially when relating milk to your life on a person level. I felt like I could identify with a lot of the points that were brought up. I did have two tiny comments, though.
First-were you allowed use personal pronouns? If you're supposed to make this like a dictionary, you want to make sure that anyone could read it and relate to it. Dictionaries are supposed to be passive, informative books. Yes-you can still apply how milk relates to your life in third person. Doing that would add a bit of realism to the piece, in my opinion. The second tiny comment that I had was about definition #4. Shouldn't there be more definitions for that? It seems like with each new sentence that you create within that space, you bring up a new definition for the word.
Otherwise, I did quite like it. It was a cute and fun little piece. I felt like it hones in your talent that I've noticed from previous poetry of yours. Good luck, and PM me if you have any questions.
-Elinor xo
Aw, this is cute! 'Fraid I can't give a full a on review 'cause I honestly don't know how to, but I'll try. I liked the definitions, they were sweet and... cool. But I would have liked to see it spaced out more, maybe making each definition a different paragraph. I did like it, though.