Rukia stared out the window of her newly furbished apartment.Her eyes blood red-rimmed.The thoughts of last night kept bouncing back in her mind and she couldn’t seem to forget them.As she gripped her coffe cup she suddenly heard the door knock.
Rukia was walking down the streets of Japan as she had just gotten off of work and was making her way down the street to meet a very special man in her life.After Momo had given her the message Rukia was just ecstatic and coulnt wait for 8’oclock to come around.When it finally did she practically jumped out of her chair and walked as fast as it was virtually possible in heels out of her brothers corporation and into downtown.
As she walked inside the little coffee shop they had decided to meet Rukia spotted the orange hair in one of the tables closest to the back edge.She raised her hand and greeted Ichigo as she went and sat down in the seat infront of him.
As the couple sat down and enjoyed their nice refreshments a pair of brown orbs watched them from outside the coffee shop.Hidden deep in the bushes the angelic figure stood there waiting,thinking,patiently soon Ichigo would forget this bitch and focuse only on her,thought the mysterious figure.
Rukia and Ichigo had just about wrapped up,as they were being hurried out the door of the caffe shop by their waiter who kept telling them that it was time to close and kept insisting that mr.ishida would not be happy if they stayed open later than usual.As the couple strode down the shoreline they encountered what would maybe seem the best scenery they could ever hope for.The moon,the beautiful full moon,gleaming over them,the waves just the right height.The only happy couple in the beach at 12pm….with one extra companion in the distance.
As the night extended more and more Rukia couldn’t help but get the feeling they were being watched,but she would not get her judgement get the better of her.She mustered up all the courage she could and kept walking along the shore.She asked Ichigo for just one second as she made a dash for her purse which she had left at the very beginning of the beach,suddenly feeling a sense of dread,and not wanting her personal items to get stolen again.She had already had that lecture once with Renji and it did not go well.
At 1am Rukia ran as fast as she could for her purse.
At 1am a hooded figure made her way out the bushes.
At 1:15 Rukia made her way back to where she and Ichigo had been and found noone.
At 1:20am Rukia started searching.
At 1:45am Rukia went to the police.
At 3am Rukia was told her boyfriend had gone missing.
Rukia did not know what to do anymore.Her chest heaved as she got up from her chair and made her way to the door.She opened the door not caring who it was.Rukia suddenly gasped as her guest had a piece of Ichigos clothing from yesterday night filthy with blood.
“W-w-what are you doing?!?”
Her visitor approached her closer and closer her long hair swooping behind her back.Holding the piece of clothing in one hand and a bloody knife in the other the assailant made her way inside the apartment.As Rukia got a better look at who was standing infront of her,she could barely get the words out of her mouth.
“W-why?”
Silence.
“ORIHIME TELL ME WHY?!?!”
“what can I say?-orihime licked her lips- I was blood driven”
At the other side of town Renji wondered why Rukia wouldn’t answer his calls.As the news reporter was casting a report on the missing Ichigo Kurosaki and a picture of an all too familiar orange-haired girl popped up and was reported to be missing as well since yesterday night.
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,798 Reviews
Hey!! Forever here with a review!!
I don't have much idea about the Bleach Manga series. So, I will focus more on my own interpretations of the characters and the story.
Plot
The first thing which I wonder about the story is the timeline of the events. From what I could understand, the lines in the bold are present and the normal one was the past. I wonder if that the best way of indicating that... Maybe give three star marks in the middle to signigy the gaps. I could understand the whole thing after I completed the whole story. In the middle, I was very confused and thought that the story had taken a time lapse in between and travelled to the future. Now to the story itself. The story was quite interesting to read. It had a sense of mystery throughout where Rukia saw a person and then co-incifentally, forgot about her purse and that in turn led the person, Orihime to murder(I am not really very sure) Ichigo. I found this quite interesting. Just a tiny nightpick, I think Rukia went to the police because Ichigo had gone missing and from your story it seems like at first she went to the police and then Ichigo went missing. Also, who was this orange haired girl? Seems like Orihime. So, she too went missing. Hmm...
CHARACTERS
As for Rukia, I actually expected her to do something when she could understand that one person was following them, at least Ichigo. They obviously trust each other and I guess they should be free to tell their worries to one another. I wonder why she didn't tell Ichigo, maybe she cared for him a lot and didn't intended to worry him. That can be a thing. We don't know much about the other characters, so not much comments. For Orihime, she seems to be a person who seems to be very violent to the others. Also, I wonder who she went missing.
Overall, it did have some confusions, but the plot seemed to quite great. Fanfictions are wuite fun to read even though when you don't know much.
Keep Writing!!
~Forever
Hey RoseMoon
Here for yet another review! I hope they have been helpful so far, though I doubt you'll ever see them.
First Impressions
I loved how the majority of the story was her reflection on what happened the day before. It adds suspense and expectation. Like: who's at the door? Why was she crying. You can immediately tell that something really bad happened. Overall, it was nice to read!
Tips
Today I'm only going to focus on one thing: a sense of connection to the characters. Since it's a shorter story we won't get a deep connection to the characters like you would in a novel. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't care for these characters. Anyways, I don't really know what else to say.
Some encouragement
Overall, the story was enjoyable to read. The conclusion was really good too! Here's a link to the review template I used Review Templates Review templates can help you make helpful reviews!
As always, I hope this review was helpful! If you have any questions feel free to ask! Keep on writing and have a great rest of your day!
Stellarjay