After reading, please read the spoiler at the bottom**
He's my best friend.
He means the world
To me.
We're inseperable;
Even a tornado
Coudn't tear us apart
But maybe this could:
I love him.
And no,
He doesn't know.
Maybe it's the way
He smiles.
Maybe it's how
He laughs
Only for me.
Maybe it's those
Damn green eyes,
The way they
Twinkle
In the light
(Don't tell him
I said that,
Please.)
I can't say
What it is
Or why it is.
I can only say
I wish it wasn't
Because
He's my best friend.
This would
Tear us apart.
I can't have that.
He means
Too much.
But I love him.
"So do something,"
You might be
Thinking
But I haven't
Gotten to the
'why not's,
Only the
'why's
And those aren't
Enough.
It's not because
I'm scared
(yes it is;
but it's not
him
I'm scared of)
It's not because
I'm too young
Or
Lying to myself
Or
Just a little too
Desperate.
It's not that
At all.
It's not even
Him
That's the problem.
It's me, obviously.
He's my best friend,
See,
I couldn't do this
To him.
I'll love him
Quietly,
In the background
Because
I could never let him
Know.
He'd be shocked
And he'd run away.
He'd never
Come back
And then where would
I be?
No where.
Without him,
I'm nothing.
But in the end,
Nothing changes.
I'll still be his
Best friend
And he'll still be
Dating her,
Marrying her,
Loving her -
He'll still be
With someone else.
Because...
Because he's not
The same
As me.
I didn't ask
For this,
Now did I?
But I got it.
And I'm stuck.
I don't want
To love anyone else,
To entrust my heart
In someone else's
Hands.
It wouldn't be
Worth it.
But he's worth it,
I know.
There's no one else
Alive
That's worth as much
As he is.
Still.
This will never
Ever
Happen.
Don't think
This is another love story
Because it can't be.
There's a fine line
Between
'He loves her'
And
'He loves him,'
Don't you see?
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138,938 Literary Works • 672,331 Reviews
All reviews are absolutely loved. Oh, and before anyone gets the wrong idea, I am not* in love with my best friend, this is written from someone else's point of view. xP
its still cliche. you have not transcended any barriers and I found the poem to be pretty thoughtless. The line breaks are extremely tedious and I didn't like the way you directly address the reader. Sure this thing is full of emotion but there's no sensory detail to convey it. Its just like someone you don't know very well telling you a boring story. I think if you include more powerful details and stronger nouns in your piece, then it could grow into something I could care about. Thanks
Best
What I really noticed about this poem was the way the lines were so short. There are several places where you might want to consider rearranging line breaks, for example,
There are other places, too, but these are the ones that really interrupted the flow for me. I don't know about you, but I'd rather read across than down. But, this is poetry, and it's all about style. I like poems without rhyme, and this poem is okay with short lines. Just some of them might be a little too short.Over all, this is a great poem. It explains the narrator's feelings and his situation. Yeah, it's kinda cheesy and cliche, but where would we be without that kind of thing?
Hey!
Okay only caught one spelling mistake.
Overall... I think the poem was incredible clique. It seems like the biggest girl problems anymore are wanting what they can't have, or wanting something someone else has. Just my point is its clique and you used both in this poem. You started out with I want him, but can't have him and you ended with I want him, but she has him. I don't know what you can do to fix it, but the words are okay. Some places how you broke the lines made it too choppy.
PM me or post on my wall if you have any questions!
-Boo
:p
The narrarator was a guy. So 'he loves him' was actually right, because there's no difference between 'he loves her' and 'she loves him' but there is between 'he loves her' and 'he loves him.' I may go back and clarify his gender earlier, but I think it was supposed to make you wonder and question, so I'm not too sure on that. Obviously 'he loves him' wasn't as clear as I thought it was...?
Thanks for the reviews.
I understood this poem up until the last stanza. Is the narrator of this poem a guy, and that's why he can't date his straight best friend? If that's correct, you may want to go back and clarify the narrator's gender. For some reason, I just assumed the narrator was a girl...
Anyway, that aside, I really liked this poem. The emotions and thoughts were realistic, which really put me in the narrator's shoes. Nice work!
'He loves her'
And
'He loves him,'
Don't you see?
So, yeah, do you mean She loves him? Because the ending kind of blew up the whole poem. I just was really confused... Anyway, other than that (typo?) I thought this was really good. You definitely did a good job of capturing emotion, I wouldn't have guessed that you were writing this about someone else. I know beccalicious said she liked the structure, but I have to disagree. I felt like some of the lines were too short and just made the poem sound choppy. Sorry if I am being critical or if my review is harsh... Just saying my thoughts. All in all, I liked this, it is chessy in a good way.
This is definitely dramatic! In terms of poetry, I have never really seen someone be as liberal with a rhyme scheme as you have (there really isn't one), but in a way, I like the unconventional structure. It's quite long as well, but I kept reading, interested all the way through. I thought the "tornado couldn't separate us" was a bit cheesy, to be honest. Overall I thought the poem was really good, but the ending confused me a bit. Is your friend gay, and you're in love with him? That's what I interpreted the ending to mean. Anyway, keep up the writing!