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Evil Egg

by xPrinceDanielx, chris


Once upon a time, there was an Evil egg.

He hatched and took over the whole world with an iron and bloody fist.

The End.


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Points: 200
Reviews: 3

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Sat Oct 14, 2017 7:48 am
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CaptainPanda13 says...



I love this!
By far, one of my favorite pieces of art for a long time.
An instant classic!
If I may, I'd like to request your permission to frame this on my wall to constantly remind me to aspire to such heights of greatness. Now, my review.

The first line is my second favorite. Combining the timeless phrase, "Once upon a time," with the revolutionary "there was an Evil egg." Not only does this line prepare me for an old-world style fairy tale with a modern twist, it also reminds me that an egg is perhaps, the greatest mystery. Is the egg evil in that the shell of the egg is nefarious? Or are the contents of ill-will? Is the egg as a whole evil? Is the IDEA of the egg evil? Is the egg named Evil, as it suggests? I am not sure that Evil lays eggs... but in art, anything is possible!

The second line is my favorite. The vagueness of the egg's hatching suggests he was from simple origins, so it was not recorded, or remembered more vividly. Or perhaps, he was very important, so the hatching was shrouded in secrecy so as not to endanger the egg. At what time after the egg's hatching did he take over the whole world? Was it immediately -which would speak about the powers of the newly-hatched egg- or some time afterwards? I also do not know of any species of creature that has hands, which is most certainly how he has a fist, so the origins of the egg are still very unclear, which lends a clear sense of mystery about the egg in general.

The last line, oh the sheer simplicity of it! Such understated power, the power to end a story! It speaks volumes about the story that such a brutal, worldwide conquest should be so simply laid to rest.
5/5 stars, and I expect many more great things from these authors.



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Points: 381
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Donate Mon Mar 14, 2016 7:13 pm
1OREO1 wrote a review...


When i read the title and the description i thought it was a funny story. After i read the whole thing i was actually impressed even tho it's not that many word. I wonder was the eggs name Evil Egg or did he have another name. I will remember this for sure because it's a very good small poem. It may be short but it is worth it posting it and reading and with all the coins you spent.




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206 Reviews


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Fri Oct 13, 2017 8:35 pm
DeerInBacPac wrote a review...



Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe even some utter nonsense! So, let's begin! :D
(Yes, I know this was posted a long while ago but it looked interesting! You did not fail me.)
Okay, obviously there are no grammar mistakes. The story is extremely short which I find quite comical, even more so that it's about an evil egg who took over the whole entire world! I really liked it because I am an odd person.
That's about all I have to say. Have a good day and keep up the great work!




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Tue Jul 12, 2016 2:49 pm
iceberg says...



And somehow, it's still a better love story than twilight.




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Sun Apr 10, 2016 11:50 pm
Elijah wrote a review...



I do not know why I love this piece of writing!It is pretty basic and simple.The start is a cliché used my many other writers but still you made me laugh.I really expected something longer but what to do.This may not be a serious project but why not posting it.It worth it.Let the eggs take over the world.
Hope to review longer arts of yours.




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Thu Mar 17, 2016 6:16 pm
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JediDeadpool wrote a review...



I love this!
By far, one of my favorite pieces of art for a long time.
An instant classic!
If I may, I'd like to request your permission to frame this on my wall to constantly remind me to aspire to such heights of greatness. Now, my review.

The first line is my second favorite. Combining the timeless phrase, "Once upon a time," with the revolutionary "there was an Evil egg." Not only does this line prepare me for an old-world style fairy tale with a modern twist, it also reminds me that an egg is perhaps, the greatest mystery. Is the egg evil in that the shell of the egg is nefarious? Or are the contents of ill-will? Is the egg as a whole evil? Is the IDEA of the egg evil? Is the egg named Evil, as it suggests? I am not sure that Evil lays eggs... but in art, anything is possible!

The second line is my favorite. The vagueness of the egg's hatching suggests he was from simple origins, so it was not recorded, or remembered more vividly. Or perhaps, he was very important, so the hatching was shrouded in secrecy so as not to endanger the egg. At what time after the egg's hatching did he take over the whole world? Was it immediately -which would speak about the powers of the newly-hatched egg- or some time afterwards? I also do not know of any species of creature that has hands, which is most certainly how he has a fist, so the origins of the egg are still very unclear, which lends a clear sense of mystery about the egg in general.

The last line, oh the sheer simplicity of it! Such understated power, the power to end a story! It speaks volumes about the story that such a brutal, worldwide conquest should be so simply laid to rest.
5/5 stars, and I expect many more great things from these authors.




User avatar


Points: 381
Reviews: 4

Donate
Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:13 pm
1OREO1 wrote a review...



When i read the title and the description i thought it was a funny story. After i read the whole thing i was actually impressed even tho it's not that many word. I wonder was the eggs name Evil Egg or did he have another name. I will remember this for sure because it's a very good small poem. It may be short but it is worth it posting it and reading and with all the coins you spent.




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Reviews: 8

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Sat Mar 12, 2016 6:03 am
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MyersTylerT wrote a review...



I absolutely LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The passion, the comedy, the romance, the tension, the action, the horror; all of it is amazing! You really did a good job with that introduction: "Once upon a time" An absolute original! Genuine art. The ending was so dramatic and left me wanting more! I can't wait to read more about this Evil egg and have no idea how you could top this!




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Sat Mar 12, 2016 3:05 am
Lightsong wrote a review...



Hey, xPrinceDaniex, chris. I'm here to review this... piece. ;)

First of all, I just want to say I was completely deceived by the description of this work. It was categorized under Art, which made me assume this something you drew, digitally manipulated, etc., anything that went into visual department. Instead I got three one-sentence paragraph with awkward capitalizations for some words. I must say, I'm not happy with what I get. You've misled me. :(

Once upon a time, there was an Evil egg.


Starting the first sentence with 'Once upon a time' is a bad choice of phrase, simply because it has been used so many times that it becomes a cliche, something that wouldn't draw your reader's attention. I suggest to replace it with something more interesting to serve as a hook for this story. Also, I wonder if there's any need to capitalize the word 'evil'. If you capitalize 'egg' too, I would understand Evil Egg as being the one egg that is evil.

He hatched and took over the whole world with an iron and bloody fist.


Honestly, what is he? You don't describe to us about his appearance, and we don't know what being he is. What we are given is vague 'iron and bloody fist', which can be interpreted in many wyas. Also, there's a lot of telling here, and I suggest you make more showing to let readers really relive the situation.

The End.


Now this just shows how we shouldn't treat this piece seriously, as these two words indicate this is something told as a joke. Nevertheless, 'End' shouldn't be capitalized.

And that is all! Keep up the good job! I hope you can make longer pieces! :D




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Sat Mar 12, 2016 2:44 am
HolographicLadybug wrote a review...



Hi. Here for a review. :D

I'm going to assume that this is one of those works that pop up on YWS every now and then that isn't really meant to be taken seriously. The only problem with works like this is that they can be very hard to review, especially since they aren't usually supposed to be taken seriously. But reviews are entirely doable (that's why I'm here, right?) in these cases, so let's get on with it.

I love the idea of an evil egg. Where it came from is entirely mysterious, as is the same for how it got there. And then it takes over the world. Neat. But I do have an actual criticism to bring forward: what hatched out of it? I know what I said about non-seriousness, but I feel like being vague in that area doesn't work as well as it could if you were to tell us what sort of creature it is. Don't be afraid to get creative! The beauty of stories like this is that you can do basically anything and it will still work. Feel free to combine animals or to completely make something up. At the same time, you can also describe it. Go ahead and be crazy with ideas!

What I find about this idea is that you could really expand it if you really wanted to. This could make a really cool short story or maybe even a novel. I would be sure to read it because it would be so epic and funny. :) Picture this: a person finds some strange-looking egg in a gutter and decides that it's so cool that they take it home. Something hatches and destroys your MC's house. They then have to go stop the creature, but hilarity ensues, as well as a bunch of action. Like I said, this could make a really cool longer piece and I encourage you to do so. But if you chose to go with the expansion route, notify me so I can read and review it!
Overall, it's awesome right now, but could probably be even more awesome as something longer. (Not pressuring you or anything!)

One last thing before I conclude my review: in the first paragraph/sentence, you capitalized "Evil" but not egg. I'm not sure if this was some sort of mistake on your part and the E just got randomly capitalized or if you're treating that like it's name. If that second option is true, capitalize the E in egg as well because "Evil Egg" serves as a name for the egg.

Well, that's it from me! I really enjoyed this. It's nice to see stuff like that on here very once in a while. It really reminds us of how cool a simple story could potentially be. Also, if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. I'd love to answer. :)
Never stop writing!
~Holographic Ladybug :)





As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.
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