E - Everyone

Someone from the past

Rain is pouring down outside. My arms lay across the counter, and with my head resting over them, I watch outside the glass panels at the strangers hurrying up and down the street under their umbrellas. On dark and rainy days like this, it can get overwhelmingly lonely at my hair salon.

As I sit waiting hopefully, a bright red umbrella comes waddling down, and from underneath it appears a familiar face: she’s the small old lady with her beautiful blue eyes and tidily kept white hair. Upon entering my salon, she places her umbrella in the corner, turns, and greets me with an innocent smile. I stand up, glad I have company.

“Tea?” I offer.

“You’re too kind, dear!” she replies with delight.

We sit there sipping at herbal tea for a while, listening to the raindrops pattering onto the slab. Then I gesture for her to have a seat in front of the mirror, and she hurries up.

“A long bob, dear,” she requests, “Can’t say how much I’m in love with this style!”

I smile and have a look once again at the nicely proportioned lob she already has. It hasn’t even been three days since I did it for her. But she keeps coming back every three or four days, totally unaware that her hair hasn’t grown an inch.

I grab a handful of hair clips from the drawer. Holding up sections of her soft hair, I put the hair clips on.

“Were there more customers this morning?” the old lady’s soft voice asks.

“There was one actually,” I answer, looking up, “it’s usually not very busy on rainy days.”

“Oh, what do you do you do when you have got free time at hand?”

“Well, I read fashion magazines,” I say, running a comb through her hair, “or just sit looking at the rain falling.”

I’ve started working my scissors carefully along the line of her hair. I must be careful not to cut too much, so that there’s enough left for next time too. Hair grows back surprisingly fast, though, and there’s always something for me to take care of.

“But don’t you get bored, darling?” she asks, looking a bit worried.

“Oh no, not at all! A day's worth it as long as there’s at least one customer.”

Her reflection in the mirror smiles at me. “That means you’ve found a career that truly inspires you!”

Silence follows the next fifteen minutes or so. I’ve worked my way all over to the top layer of her long bob. Now, I grab a straightener from the top of the desk. Having done this specific hairstyle for her almost every three days, not to count all the other bob-lovers, I’m so much used to this algorithm.

“Back in the day, I used to be a concert pianist myself,” her soft voice breaks the silence.

“Wow, that should’ve been really cool!” I remark.

“Oh yes, dear!” her face lights up, “I used to travel a lot, playing for operas and orchestras. I’ve been to Japan, America, Poland, and many more.”

There’s a small pause.

“I met my husband in Japan while working on one of my albums. After we married and moved here, I resigned from my career to tend to our little daughter.”

A hint of empathy pops up somewhere inside me. But I just keep on with my job, using the point-cutting method now to refine her hair. The old lady sits motionless yet very aware of what I’m doing.

“Day by day, she slowly grew up next to me, my little girl! I even tried teaching her to play the piano at one point,” she remarks with a chuckle, “But I soon realised she was a more practical, down-to-earth child.”

There’s a watery glint in her eyes now; I see it in the mirror.

“She made me and Haruki proud. Once she graduated from high school, she moved to the city to attend a vocational school,” she continues, “I haven’t seen her lovely face for a long time.”

The old lady falls silent. I notice a shadow taking over her wrinkled face.

“I’m very sure she misses you as much as you do,” I comfort her.

“Oh, I believe she does, darling,” she replies kindly, “After all, her life’s just started, and she has a lot to catch up with. Well, I’m sorry for boring you with all that nostalgia.”

I smile.

The tip-tap of the raindrops hitting the ceiling has slowly come to a stop. The faces of the people are peeking out from their umbrellas to greet the welcomingly warm sunshine, which has just landed.

With a bit of texture spray and cross-checking, I’ve also finished my job. With a smile on my face, I watch the old lady as she briskly gathers her stuff. One more look at herself in the mirror, seemingly delighted, and then she walks over to me. Her hand digs into her wallet. I really don’t like making her pay for a haircut that isn’t even going to last very long. But she isn’t happy until she sees the notes disappearing into my drawer.

She thanks me one last time before vanishing into the day outside. I watch her walking away, almost like a dove’s feather blowing in the wind. Inside my heart, I feel a deep sense of warmth. Inside her memories, the sweet person she used to be is still there; she just doesn't remember. At the end of every month, I put all the money she’s paid me during that time, and also some more for her expenses, back in her bank account.

I fall back into my chair. I am a bit ashamed I forgot to remind her, but I smile nevertheless as I see the bright red umbrella still sitting in the corner, where she left it. I’ll make sure to give it back to her next time. As I watch the drops of water dripping down the umbrella onto the floor, my mind wanders back to the time I spent with her back then. 

Comments & reviews · 4
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Wow, just wow.
You joined YWS like 2 minutes ago and already wrote this?
The descriptive writing is on-point, its genuinely perfect. I could envision the whole scene as if I was watching a short play in my head, I could feel the cold, damp vibes even though where I'm at right now is blisteringly hot.
I don't know if you ever did a job as a hair-dresser on something because how did you manage to describe it that well?
Also, I knew the plot twist was coming and I knew what was gonna happen but I was HOOKED. Obv she's the old woman's daughter.

Amnesia (or is it dementia) is generally heart-breaking to consume in media, but you portrayed it in such a quaint and loving manner that I saw this from a whole different perspective. The mother may have forgotten her daughter, but the daughter gets to see and experience and learn the woman her mom was before she was her mom. She gets to see her as bright old lady, not 'mom'.

One criticism I have is that Hair DOES NOT grow that fast, lol.

Anyway, fantastic work, I loved reading this. Now you can be sure that I'm gonna wait for the rest of your works <33333

OMG!! Thanks for the heartfelt review <3! I'm glad you liked it. I have never worked as a hairdresser, but some research beforehand solved a lot of problems :) And true: hair takes forever to grow, haha xD!

User avatar
Leya
Review
Leya wrote a review · Thu Jun 05, 2025 2:08 am

Hello fellow writer! Ley here to write a review! This is a new review style that I'm using only for the month of June, in spirit of the Great Tortoise Race! Let's get started, 'shell' we? xD

Shell Start: Firstly, I just wanted to say welcome to YWS! I saw this prose piece and was automatically intrigued, so let's get into the review! I'll start with things I loved about the story, followed by some light suggestions (if I have any!)

Favorite Leaf:

I smile and have a look once again at the nicely proportioned lob she already has. It hasn’t even been three days since I did it for her. But she keeps coming back every three or four days, totally unaware that her hair hasn’t grown an inch.

Love this detail! This tells us that the narrator -- whos name we never recieve -- pays attention to her customers. Now that I think about it, this reminds me of a 'slice-of-life' piece! A day in the life of a hairstylist :D

Inside her memories, the sweet person she used to be is still there; she just doesn't remember.

Obsessed with this ending. Finding out this is someone close to her; her mother, I assume-- was shocking! I think it's so cute how she continues to to her mom's hair even though she might not remember her. Old age sucks and the disorders/diseases that come with it sometimes is even worse. You did such a great job of touching on that topic, while also shedding light on the loved ones around them, and how it effects their everyday lives as well. Very, very well done!!

Shell Fractures:

Rain is pouring down outside. My arms lay across the counter, and with my head resting over them, and I watch outside the glass panels at the strangers hurrying up and down the street under their umbrellas. On dark and rainy days like this, it can get overwhelmingly lonely at my hair salon.

This is just a light suggestion-- but when writing scenes that describe the atmosphere/setting, don't forget to "show, don't tell". You do a wonderful job of 'showing' us what the atmosphere is after the first sentence of the story, but I think the first sentence isn't really needed. Without it, the piece would flow much better. The details about umbrellas and rain tattering against the window let the reader know the weather-- no need to bluntly state it! Other than that, I don't have any suggestions, great work! <3

Overall:
Overall, I LOVED this! It was short yet straight to the point-- not too much dialogue, just right to set the mood. The ending really made this story for me-- it made my jaw drop! Thank you so much for posting. I look forward to reading more from you in the future! :D

I hope to see you join the race, and keep being awesome! Happy Writing~

Image

Woah, thanks for the love <3! Being new to writing, it always worries me that I might not be able to deliver the whole idea I want to the reader. But you did such a good job interpreting the story, and I'm happy about both of us for that :)!
I'll try to join the Great Tortoise Race as well!
Thanks a lot ;))

Hello! I'm Milesperhour, here to review your excellent story!! :D
First of all, this story has a very cozy vibe, and I could immediately envision the setting within a few sentences! Like the descriptive language in this is so good, I want to like.... eat your writing (do they say that for writing too or is that just an art thing lol)
I feel like I got a very clear picture of the characters' personalities and relationship, I really like the old lady character and the fact that she keeps coming back to the hair salon every few days and keeping the narrator company.
My only criticism is that I was a.... bit confused at the end? I know that the hairdresser knows the old woman, but does the old woman remember? How old is the hairdresser meant to be? Why does it not mention this connection earlier in the story? If I missed something please let me know, just my personal reading experience.
Overall very good story, nice work! :D

Heyy :)
Isn't it kind of funny that I just finished reading your short story 'Silent Moment In A Theatre' and, boom, here you are commenting on my own work! Btw, I absolutely adored your story from the very beginning to the very end, though it left me as puzzled as you are after reading my story XD! I guess we also have a quite similar style, don't you think?
Anyway, thanks for your review ;)! I kind of tried to hide something in my short story which might solve the mystery and reveal to the reader what the relationship between the hairdresser and the old lady was. Hint: the hairdresser is young, not long into her career. Perhaps you can have another look and tell me what you found :)
I have this feeling like there's also something hidden in your short story as well, which I'm trying to figure out. Well, I'll write a review once I'm done!
It was really nice to meet you =^..^=!

ill have to read through it a couple more times :D
and ig you could say my story has some hidden secrets... most of it is just me projecting tho lol



“I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
— L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables