This righteous hand be bloodied,
by the sins of piety;
And Godly dreams perverted,
lay waste in atrophy.
Ignominy of fake idolatry,
do beasts of burden lie–
The casualties of this holy war,
will scores of soldiers die.
In audience a multitude
sprawled on hallowed ground;
The accident of apostles,
that innocents were downed.
Such hoards of twisted effigies
would grinning martyrs make;
A most exquisite suffering,
for faulty prophet's sake.
In this world of silent angels
and sea of sightless saints;
In search of absolution,
do I mutilate thy faith.
May I wash away my shame,
in tears of desperation;
My broken pleas for mercy,
marred by condemnation.
For the sins of careless Fathers,
do reluctant kin atone—
The brutalities of blind belief,
heavenly beings will bemoan.
For corrupt crusade I err,
in burning of the church—
The wake of crimson pilgrimage,
flocks of stormy petrels perch.
When the fire's had its fill,
and sacred ashes do rejoice;
From scorched earth should sound—
Hark! a still small voice.
Ne'er vile nor wicked,
no deed shall be—
Not when is committed,
in name of deity.
En la hora de oro
Ojalá, mi amor;
En odisea del perdón,
precioso salvador.
Shall the godless charge to battle,
till the gates of Valhalla burst—
To exhaust such callous devotion,
and quench thy heretic thirst.
Starved in spiritual dissonance,
her disciple seeks salvation;
Displayed in wanton majesty,
hands raised in exaltation.
To pen her carnal scripture,
with spirits of my vein;
The parish shall bear witness,
reverent apologies of Cain.
Born zealots from the infidels
of the hajj held most divine;
This jihad endures in infamy
laid bare by fleshly shrine.
How I worship to a foreign God,
to taste her sweet torment;
Gasping prayers at anointed feet—
pride and ego do lament.
Gloria in excelsis Deo,
an Alleluia rings.
Dios te salve, María,
a pious gospel sings.
Prostrate in utter helplessness
and cast upon her altar—
How ethereal this suffering
that holy men should falter.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
First off, I absolutely love the word choice in the entire poem. You clearly have a very defined voice in this poem and its one that I personally find to be both strong and mature. The themes of penance and voluntary suffering to push the ideas of zealotry and martyrdom were especially good and reflected the reality of olden religious dogmas nigh perfectly. I enjoyed the shifts between different religions being brought up and seeing them strung together showing that in the end, despite their different names and ideas, all possess their share of fanatics and those who lust for punishment for the sake of ascendance. My personal favorite part was:
Shall the godless charge to battle,
till the gates of Valhalla burst—
To exhaust such callous devotion,
and quench thy heretic thirst.
These lines have such a commanding tone to them that I just can't stop rereading.
I really enjoyed the poem. I like the way you weave different religions together to pass a message. The ' accidents of apostles', ' faulty prophets', and ' careless fathers' depict men of God who, by their actions and sayings, had led people astray, even to their death. The ' soldiers', ' sightless saints', ' grinning martyr', and ' holy men' represent the believers who are dogmatic in nature.
The poem in general talks on the crisis religion has brought upon men, from men's mistakes and folly which God has no hand in.
Hello, I really enjoyed this poem. I'm in a bit of a numb state of mind as I read this so the general grand but broken vibes of the poem were the things to hit most strongly. The structure of the poem really lends itself to a clear rhythm, which makes reading it a lot more enjoyable.
The intensity of the subject matter, which appears to me to be a commentary on religion that I don't quite grasp - by no fault of your work, of course, I'm just not in a state to read into metaphor too deeply - though I would predict by the references to Valhalla and worshiping a foreign god that the speaker is not monotheistic at the very least, if the speaker is religious at all, that is, and not just using the metaphor for some purpose that I'm not quite seeing.
Overall, it's a really good poem with a generally grandiose but tarnished vibe that I really enjoy.
I enjoyed reading this poem! It made me wonder,could people suffer at the hands of God? Are they suffering because they have misused Earth? Is the world watching us,taking note of our every move? Who knows? The world and universe is a mysterious and strange place.Anyway,great poem that you made! I hope you have a lovely day/night!