A/N: This is pretty much self-indulgent. Enjoy!
Puns and lame references ahead.
-x-
After a short
morning of work where all he did is send reports he completed the previous
night, Barry walked into the STAR Labs cortex whistling some jaunty tune.
He was met with
the sight of Cisco spinning around in the middle of the room on a office chair
and drinking a slushie to the sound of what could be techno pop coming out of
the speakers.
"Busy
day?" Barry commented, leaning back on their communications and tracking systems
table.
"Oh!"
Cisco stuck out a foot and let it skid across the tile, slowing himself.
"Hey, dude!! Yeah, it's been a quiet morning. I've been working on a wind
gun so we can have all the elements out there but so far it's just an oddly
shaped fan. I don't think I can patent that." Cisco made to stand up,
wobbled, and then promptly sat back down. "Yeah. It's over there,"
The long haired man gestured, "Next I'll make a plant gun but I'm not sure
how well that'll work out."
Barry, looking amused, walked over to Cisco's regular work
table. "Cisco... this is literallyjusta hair dryer." He said,
looking back up at Cisco and laughing at his expense.
And of
course--because when do they ever have an uneventful day?--the alarm went off.
Cisco shuffled backwards on his chair to the monitors and rolled around it by
holding onto the ledge of the table and leaning precariously. Barry just
flashed over next to him.
"Looks like
Captain Cold and Heatwave are hitting a condemned building."
"Why would
they...?"
"Apparently
some rich schmuck thought it would be a great place to store a couple pounds of
diamonds." Cisco informed him, after bringing up a report on it.
"Greaaat."
Barry rolled his eyes, "Because that makes a world of sense." Cisco
shrugged, "Rich people are eccentric. Haven't you seen Oliver?" Barry
couldn't help laughing at that one.
"Point. But
don't tell him you said that. I'll go take care of this." He quickly
grabbed his suit of the mannequin, changed, and was out of the cortex and to
the condemned building in no time flat.
He looked left
and looked right. Seeing nothing except for some people loitering around he
shrugged and made his way through the doors with Cisco's okay though their comm
links.
"Freeze." Flash said as he came upon Heatwave and Captain Cold
gathering the rich's riches.
"Are you
serious." Cold said, unimpressed and raising an eyebrow, "Like I've
never heard that one before. You really could do better."
Barry tapped his foot on the ground and sucked on his teeth,
"Wait a minute...are you...punshaming me?" He asked
Captain Cold incredulously. He heard Cisco snort in his ear.
"Your pun wasn't very cool. It was pretty repundant."
Heatwave grumbled
under his breath and set his flamethrower in its holster. He glared at the
scarlet clad speedster and tightened his grip on the burlap sack he and Cold
had been packing.
"Wow you're
really on fire, eh, Mick?" Len said, nudging Heatwave.
"Don't bring
me into this." The bulky man rumbled.
"That's not
ice."
"Shocking."
Barry said, holding up one hand and letting a lightening bolt run down his arm
and to his gloved fingertips before it was reabsorbed in his body.
"Don't
encourage him!" Heatwave hissed.
"The
atmosphere is pretty charged." Captain Cold answered.
Flash shot a
sultry smile to the parka wearing rogue, "I'm getting chills. Speaking of,
just hand me your chill gotten goods and we'll get on like a blizzard."
"I'm filing
a law suit, my ears are being assaulted." Mick didn't even blink and the
Flash was holding up a salt shaker. Len snorted while Barry gave a shit eating
grin.
"Just
fucking marry each other. I want a change in occupation. I've made up my mind,
I'm going to culinary school." Heatwave threw his hands up, took the bag
of stolen goods, threw it at Flash, and crossed his arms.
"You didn't
have to throw the ice at me." Flash shot out after he checked that the
missing diamonds were, in fact, in the bag that was thrown at him.
"I'd need
some ice for my finger if you're planning to propose." Captain Cold let it
be known.
"If that
happens I'll buy it. You know. Legally. Like a normal person. Like a normal
person that makes money. You know. Legally. With a good paying job. "
Mick opened his mouth and Barry cut in, "With alegalgood paying job." Mick's
mouth snapped shut.
"I almost
feel like you're trying to get a point across." Len tapped his gloved
fingers on the side of his sunglasses, "Imagine that."
Mick huffed and
turned to walk out of the building.
"Aw, don't
give us the cold shoulder." Flash and Cold somehow chimed at the same
time.
Mick narrowed his
eyes at both of them.
"Is it hot
in here or is it just you?" The Flash crowed out.
"Ah, the
heat's on." Len informed Flash in a mock grievous tone of voice as Mick's
face flushed in either anger or embarrassment.
"I feel like you're taunting the bull here, Barry, and I'mlivingfor this," Cisco said in
his ear, voice full of laughter. "Hold on, hold on, let me look some puns
up for you to use." Cisco was quiet for a few beats until he spoke again.
"I lava good
fight," Barry repeated. Len pushed back the hood of his parka and looked
generally amused.
"No one can
hold a candle to your beauty."
"...you..."
"Looks like
you've met your match."
"Stop."
"This was a
tinder encounter but we have burned too much time."
"I mean
it."
"You're
fired."
"I'm warning
you."
"He's really
spitting these out rapid fire." Cold commented.
Mick had his
flame thrower trained on Flash and Captain Cold looked on in poorly restrained
glee.
"Are you
really that radiant or are those flames?" Barry asked, side stepping towards
Cold in anticipation. Mick's eyes just narrowed.
"Is that a
spark in your eye I see?"
"I've got
one for you," Mick's rough voice cut through, "How do you like your
ribs? Well done, smokey, or CHARRED," The buff man had barely finished his
sentence before he flicked the safety off of his flamethrower and started
shooting at them.
Flash grabbed Len
under his shoulders and fled the building, both of them cackling.
"Damn, I was
gonna tell you to say this next: 'You were the chosen one. I loved you like a
brother, Anakin.'" Cisco pipped up in his ear after the Flash got him and
Cold out of the building.
The building
promptly went up in flames. Flash was ready to go in to grab Mick but Cold
caught his bicep and nodded his head to the side. They both saw Heatwave
stomping heavily down the sidewalk angrily. Barry shook his head in
exasperation.
"Not now,
Cisco, civilians are looking at us all funny," Barry mumbled and readied
his arms and started wheeling them around like a super speed fan. The few
people there were on the side walks were, in fact, giving them odd looks. Len
pulled the parka hood back over his head and wiggled his gloved fingers at a
particular couple who were open mouthed gawking at them.
"Looking at
you odd? I wonder why. I mean it's everyday that the Flash carries out Captain
Cold out of a building, both laughing like mad men, isn't it?" Flash
huffed and stopped when it looked like he got the last of the fire out.
He rolled his
shoulders and then turned to address the crowd in his warble-y Flash voice,
"It's under control now, everything is--" He cut himself off as a
little girl was pointing behind him repeatedly while tugging on the hem of her
mother's shirt.
"Something
else just caught on fire again behind me, didn't it."
Before he could
turn around and put it out, the sound of the cold gun powering up and shooting
out a blast of ice hit his ears.
"I got
it." Cold informed him, with a shit eating grin
-x-
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