“I feel so... disconnected, so... distant” it said to nothing in particular.
Nothing replied.
“I know for a fact my watch used to be here, it was right here .... but I don’t see it anymore”
Nothing replied.
“ I feel like I’ve been here awhile, but I cannot fathom why, there isn’t much to see or do, not much of anything really.”
Nothing replied.
“Do you know how long it’s been?”
Nothing replied.
“ I could figure it out if I just knew what the time was.”
Nothing replied.
“Before I lost my watch I never really needed it.I used to tell time by the wrinkles in my hands, I had a lot last time I checked, but I can’t seem to find those either. So it’s probably best that I find my watch. Do you mind if I look for it?”
Nothing replied.
It took one step foreword, and It look one step forward, and It took one step forward, “where is my watch, I can’t find it.”
It was trying not let on, but It was rather upset, “ I love that watch, or rather I used to. Without it, I can’t even tell you how much time passed before I even missed it. I can’t believe that I’ve lost it.”
Nothing replied.
“I don’t remember where I came from, or how I got here, but I’ve had that watch for as long as I can remember.”
Nothing replied.
“It’s a damn shame, but life goes on you see.”
Nothing replied.
“One should due their best to face the tests of life as they come, with dignity and grace. of course I’m upset that it’s gone, but that’s no reason to make a fuss.”
Nothing replied.
“Of course I’m awfully lonely, and that watch was always wonderful company, it make the most wonderful ticking noise. I would count them just to see how highly I could go. Tick, 1, Tick, 2, Tick, 3, Tick, 4, Tick, 5, Tick, 6, Tick, 7,”
Nothing replied.
“Tick, 8, Tick, 9, Tick, 10, Tick, 11, Tick, 12, Tick, 13”
Nothing replied.
It began to count faster “14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27”
Nothing replied.
Tears ran down its face, “28,28,30,31,32,33,34,35,35,37,38,39,40,41,43,44,45.... Ive lost my place, do you remember what number I was on.”
Nothing replied.
“ it’s so much harder to keep count without the watch, now all I can hear is my own voice.
Nothing replied.
“guess I will just start again.” It said faintly
Nothing replied.
“_______ ,“ it said.
“______, “ ?
It reached out frantically, trying to find something to hold onto,“______________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________.“
Nothing replied.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Hi vannilawriter!
This was a very interesting narrative, I could see this being a short play with two people, one being the speaker and the other being Nothing. At first, I thought the speaker was actually speaking to themselves or to the void, trying to figure out their solution by themselves, but it wasn't until here, for some reason, did I realize that Nothing is actually a character.
Correct me if I am wrong, but Nothing was actually trying to reply to the speaker, it was actually trying to either help the speaker find the watch or trying to calm them down so that they wouldn't panic. I also like the last part where you don't know what they are saying, like the words are lost in the void of loneliness and we aren't there to listen. It's very intriguing. As the reader, I want to know what they are saying. Mysterious.
Super job! You are very creative to write this, keep up the great work!
If I%u2019m being entirely honest, I%u2019m not even really sure if nothing is a character or not, and I wrote it lol. Every person I%u2019ve showed this too has read it differently, which I take a very high compliment.
Yes, I quite like reading and writing stories were the reader decides what/how it means to them. It's humorous to think that you weren't really sure about the characters, but I'm glad you take the reviews as a compliment!
Hi vannilawriter!
This was a very interesting narrative, I could see this being a short play with two people, one being the speaker and the other being Nothing. At first, I thought the speaker was actually speaking to themselves or to the void, trying to figure out their solution by themselves, but it wasn't until here, for some reason, did I realize that Nothing is actually a character.
Correct me if I am wrong, but Nothing was actually trying to reply to the speaker, it was actually trying to either help the speaker find the watch or trying to calm them down so that they wouldn't panic. I also like the last part where you don't know what they are saying, like the words are lost in the void of loneliness and we aren't there to listen. It's very intriguing. As the reader, I want to know what they are saying. Mysterious.
Super job! You are very creative to write this, keep up the great work!
This is a great short story. It's vague, Mysterious, and unsettling in a subtle way.
The nothing is vague and full of mystery. You clearly want to know what it wants or what it even is doing. The other character tries to talk to it, trying to communicate to the being. But despite their best efforts it's no use. And that's really good.
The 'it' in the story is looking for their watch. The watch is important to him to distract him from his pain. Or it could be a whole different meaning like their disillusions.
And that's great. Because many things are kept vague and can be interpreted in many way.
Overall a great short story! Keep on going with he great work.
Hey there! I just wanted to say that I really loved this. The vagueness made me on the edge of my seat at all times, just waiting to see what comes next, and the way the character's comments flow with each other? Fabulous! Now, I do have a few nitpicks. While the "Nothing replies" is nice for continuity, it starts to get a bit repetitive, to the point where it gets annoying. I do like how you used it as the last line, though. And for the last section, as much as I said that I loved the vagueness, I feel like it was a bit too vague. If we could get just a liiiittle more insight as to what happened, that'd be great. Overall, I really loved this. Keep up the great work!
-✨