Molly Davidson, you shattered soul

oh shitttttt. just came from your other origin story you posted. i love that you included pics, things like this inspire me as well.

"Uncle Rhian replied, right before the blade of his axe broke through Molly’s head, blood spewing like milk from a cup."

this was a perfect ending, comparing the blood to the innocence of milk in a cup. i also liked how you named her molly davidson, i don't know why that stood out to me but it's the perfect creepy name.

i do understand that this is part of a big collection of stories so this might not be applicable, but this story did feel a little short and didn't bring anything new from the last story, other than a slightly different perspective. i would've liked to read more about her relationship with her parents, and how seeing them dead made her feel. did she like her parents? does she understand what is happening?

overall, this did add more to your story and i liked to read from a child's perspective. maybe it was so short because she's just a child and doesn't know much. good job!

Okay, this was definitely creepy. And I believe that's the kind of vibe you're going for here. It's my first time to review your works, because I can be quite unnerved by these kinds of things. But your writing is wonderfully done! Let's look into it.

You started off innocently with Molly playing happily. It was interrupted by a gory scene and something quite traumatic for a young child. Her parents were dead. Her father even had one part detached from his body.

As someone who spends a considerable amount of time with children, I believe a more apt response for Molly will be shocked silence and confusion. Even people older than her won't be able to breathe at the scene in front of them. What more Molly? That's just my take though.

I honestly don't know what got into the uncle and he was so cryptic about the reason behind the murder too! He could have explained it to her (because he was going to kill anyways), but this is a great cliff-hanger that you put to let your readers be hooked to the story.

Now here's just my personal thing, please don't hate me. I really really don't like dolls and just a quick look at them made me scroll down immediately HAHAHA
I found dolls to be creepy especially when they cross the "uncanny valley" (which is most of the time lol)

Overall, your writing is captivating and makes the readers want to know what's next, enduring the gore and pain if they have to. (Reminds me of how Coraline was structured. Gory but page-turning)

This is alpacaboss, signing off.

Okay, this was definitely creepy. And I believe that's the kind of vibe you're going for here. It's my first time to review your works, because I can be quite unnerved by these kinds of things. But your writing is wonderfully done! Let's look into it.

You started off innocently with Molly playing happily. It was interrupted by a gory scene and something quite traumatic for a young child. Her parents were dead. Her father even had one part detached from his body.

As someone who spends a considerable amount of time with children, I believe a more apt response for Molly will be shocked silence and confusion. Even people older than her won't be able to breathe at the scene in front of them. What more Molly? That's just my take though.

I honestly don't know what got into the uncle and he was so cryptic about the reason behind the murder too! He could have explained it to her (because he was going to kill anyways), but this is a great cliff-hanger that you put to let your readers be hooked to the story.

Now here's just my personal thing, please don't hate me. I really really don't like dolls and just a quick look at them made me scroll down immediately HAHAHA
I found dolls to be creepy especially when they cross the "uncanny valley" (which is most of the time lol)

Overall, your writing is captivating and makes the readers want to know what's next, enduring the gore and pain if they have to. (Reminds me of how Coraline was structured. Gory but page-turning)

This is alpacaboss, signing off.

Aw, but this was so short! I feel like every time I read something of yours, I'm always reading somewhere in the middle or the end...Just my luck I suppose XD. You certainly have a creepy sense of humor, my friend.

I like how you wrote this in a style that much resembles the style a child would write in. Instead of writing the parents' names, you use "Mommy" and "Daddy." And you use lots of exclamation points, a favorite for sure among little kids.

I'm not sure how much of this I was supposed to get as I don't think I'm starting in the right place, here, but I did have one BIG question. WHHHHHYYYYY? Why did Uncle Rhian kill Rose, Molly's parents, and then, (if I'm reading this right) Molly herself? Is Uncle Rhian a madman? Or is there something about this doll? I mean, the pictures you posted below this piece are in fact quite creepy-looking, and I feel like you even took the pictures from angles to MAKE it look creepy. So, were the dolls trying to get free from their owners so they possessed Uncle Rhian to kill their owners? I don't think that's too creepy or extraordinary to not be the case, given that we're reading a snippet from vampricone, here.

Where might I find the Rose and Karina origin stories?

As always, keep up the great work!
-Tortoise Kaia
P.S. Great job, there fellow tortoise!