Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence and mature content.
*The last origin from my “The doll” stories. You can find other stories that connect to this one from my “The doll” folder. Gacha Club character designs are on my wall. Enjoy!*
Once upon a time, on a bright, beautiful day, there was a young man named Anthony Davidson who was playing the piano for his wife, Samantha. Their daughter, Molly, was upstairs in her room, playing with her dolls.
It was a lovely day and it only seemed to get lovelier when a knock came on the door.
“I’ll get it!” Anthony said eagerly, pushing himself out of the chair. Samantha tried to stop him by grabbing his arm, but he let go. She didn’t like visitors that much.
"Rhian! It's good to see you, brother! You don't come up here often." Anthony said, opening the door wide. His older brother was so busy, he barely came up!
Rhian didn’t smile. His eyes were glazed over, looking into the distance. His right hand held a wooden axe, sharpened unnecessarily.
“Rhian?" Anthony asked. Did Rhian come to chop wood? It didn’t seem so, with how far his eyes looked. Rhian must have been confused. Yes, that was it. He just needed to talk to Anthony, that was all.
“Get out of this house, now! Or I’ll kill you, Rhian. I’ll kill you.” Samantha seethed.
Why would she say that to him? Rhian was his brother, he needed help. Did she not see how lost Rhian looked? He was carrying an axe, for goodness’ sake! Obviously, Rhian needed Anthony.
“Samantha, what are you-“
All too swift, all too fast, before Anthony could finish his sentence, Rhian brought the axe to Anthony’s neck, pain penetrating his bones, blood gushing out like a wound-speckled waterfall.
…….....……………………………………………………..
Anthony opened his eyes. He remembered Rhian’s angered face before he brought the axe to his neck and then…
Where was everybody? Where was his house? It looked as though he were in a dark void, where nothing ever ended.
“Samantha? Molly?” He called out.
Only his own voice echoed back at him. Minutes ago, he was playing the piano for Samantha, jolly keys ringing throughout the house in a melodic symphony, to join the sun that shone through white cotton curtains. Molly was playing with her dolls, without a care in the world.
Anthony opened the door. Anthony let Rhian in. He wanted to be nice and died for it. He should have listened to Samantha. Samantha never trusted Rhian, she said that there was something “awfully wrong” with him.
His chest constricted with the heaviness of loneliness, the overwhelming feeling that it was only he who existed in the void. No wife, no daughter, no sun, no piano. Nothing.
Was Anthony being punished for letting Rhian in? Was the universe sealing him away for his stupidity, locking up from a cautionary tale? Was it all his fault that he let the childish feelings of familial loyalty cloud his better judgment?
Tears almost made their way out of Anthony’s eyes, but he blinked them back in. There wasn’t time to cry. He had to try to get out. There was always a way out. Samantha and Molly were waiting for him on the other side. All Anthony had to do was try and get out. Then, he would hug them both tightly and they would all be enveloped in warm, golden light. They would live Happily Ever After.
All Anthony had to do was try.
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,786 Reviews
Hey vampricone! I'm going to leave a quick review for this short story!
Okay so I reviewed the origin story for Samantha, so I know a part of this story. Seeing the story from a different perspective is really interesting.
I really liked how you portrayed Anthony's thoughts. He seemed really positive about the situation, which you captured really well, and the contrast between how he thought of the situation compared to Samantha, who knew Rhian's intentions already. This is actually a kind of sad story for me because Anthony had no idea what was about to happen, and he died because he was just trying to be nice and help Rhian. So it is a really tragic story.
And I also liked how you wrote the second part in which he is in the weird void thingy and he is pondering what to do. He realizes what really happened, and that's interesting that we knew what he thought of the fact that he died tragically. I also liked how you ended the story with Anthony saying he would try to get out, so everything can go back to normal and he can see his family again. It makes us feel sad that he is apart from them, which is important.
Last thing: it's interesting that you decided to title the story "Anthony Davidson, lost and alone," instead of "Anthony Davidson, you just wanted to help" or something, so the story is mainly spotlighting the fact that after he died, Anthony is lost and lonely, instead of spotlighting the fact that he died for being nice. I like how you put the titles in this pattern, because it helps the reader see the theme and what you are trying to convey in the story.
Overall, this is a really sad and sweet story, I really enjoyed reading it. Maybe if I have time I could read the previous stories related to this, because the story is really interesting! I hope you will continue this series!
Happy Writing!
This is...wow. Spectacular is the only word I can think of at this moment. I love horror stories...and I sometimes make morbid jokes. So...lets break this down.
[*quote]Rhian didn’t smile. His eyes were glazed over, looking into the distance. His right hand held a wooden axe, sharpened unnecessarily.[*/quote]
Right away I can see that something is very wrong. I mean...he just shows up with an axe? Yeah...he is going to commit a heinous crime.
[*quote]All too swift, all too fast, before Anthony could finish his sentence, Rhian brought the axe to Anthony’s neck, pain penetrating his bones, blood gushing out like a wound-speckled waterfall.[*/quote]
This is a really great description of a head being chopped off. Really hits home...and really describes the gore too. I am 100% sure this guy is dead.
Anthony opened his eyes. He remembered Rhian’s angered face before he brought the axe to his neck and then…
[*quote]Where was everybody? Where was his house? It looked as though he were in a dark void, where nothing ever ended.[*/quote]
This is a.....perfect visual. I love it so freaking much.
[*quote]His chest constricted with the heaviness of loneliness, the overwhelming feeling that it was only he who existed in the void. No wife, no daughter, no sun, no piano. Nothing.
Was Anthony being punished for letting Rhian in? Was the universe sealing him away for his stupidity, locking up from a cautionary tale? Was it all his fault that he let the childish feelings of familial loyalty cloud his better judgment?[*/quote]
I love this.
Okay! So obviously this must have a sequel because of what happens at the end. Overall, very good story. I love it. Keep Writing!
You can check out the folder on my profile titled %u201CThe doll%u201D to see more stories connected to this.
Thank you for reviewing!