a hazy shade of winter

Wow, just wow. This reached into my depths and crushed my soul too! This is definitely something that will stick with me for a while. It's short but powerful and you pulled it off so well!

For me, the ending really made me kinda want to cry. I was expecting the protagonist would see the winter flower and maybe gain a little hope herself, feel a bit optimistic. But the fact that she crushed it...aaah (sniff). I think that ending was one of the main reasons this was so impactful.

You also described the setting without shoving it in our faces but rather adding subtle details: "sniff and wipe my pink nose", "snowy dock" these all contribute to an image of the place our character's in.

Overall, I found this very impressive and enjoyed the story (while crying) thoroughly (I think you should change the category, I wouldn't call this a poem) Thank you for sharing and keep growing <3

Hi @uwubamba! This is really nice, and powerful, and since my ELA teacher was going on and on about foreshadowing, I think this uses that technique very nicely. I like how descriptive you are, and if I close my eyes, I can easily see the image you were trying to give. It’s short, sad, happy, but most of all powerful. I like how you relate to the little girl, with not a care in the world, and how the character crushes the flower. That sends a message literal description could not send, which is amazing. Hopefully, if this review qualifies, this could be like the quickest thing ever to get out of the green room. Five stars, but since I can only give one; a like, there you go.

Hi @uwubamba! This is really nice, and powerful, and since my ELA teacher was going on and on about foreshadowing, I think this uses that technique very nicely. I like how descriptive you are, and if I close my eyes, I can easily see the image you were trying to give. It’s short, sad, happy, but most of all powerful. I like how you relate to the little girl, with not a care in the world, and how the character crushes the flower. That sends a message literal description could not send, which is amazing. Hopefully, if this review qualifies, this could be like the quickest thing ever to get out of the green room. Five stars, but since I can only give one; a like, there you go.

Hey there, uwubamba!!

This is Eros here with a review for you!!

This poem is really beautiful... it describes a winter day and what all is seen on the way. THe Streets are darkened, yes, because it is winter. The coffee, oh man, i just love coffee!!!
The most favourite stanza of mine was the,

"A single father walks with his daughter to a grocery store, she sees the man ringing the bell with a bucket. I've never seen a kid so excited. I sniff and wipe my pink nose. Is that what hope looks like? I wouldn't know...I lost mine so long ago. I hope she never loses hers. "

But it looks kinda like a paragraph... Maybe It could have been splitted like,

"To a grocery store,a single father walks with his daughter,
She sees the man ringing the bell with a bucket.
I've never seen a kid so excited.
I sniff and wipe my pink nose.
Is that what hope looks like?
I wouldn't know...I lost mine so long ago.
I hope she never loses hers. "

Rest, everything flows very well...but to me, the format doesn't really look like a poem... but everything is written really well. It's just too beautiful.
The words used, the things described, and i especially loved the throwing of the coffee cup in the end. Like, it made me think, "ohh!! The cup yeah! the coffee must be finished by now!!" haha, that was really awesome ❤❤❤❤❤

Awesome work,
Keep it up!!
Keep writing,
Because we love to keep reading,
And keep reviewing too!!

With lots of Love,
From Eros.

Have a great day / night!