He was my light
that burned oh so bright
my memories of him were stronger
and they fill me with delight.
God took you from me
i thought we were meant to be
but he said "its your time to go"
and you left just like that
you can never look back
on what could have been.....
True Love :(
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125,014 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
Awhhhh. Its just so sad
I am sorry for your loss. But you do have a talent. Its wonderful poetry when you let all your emotion into it. Losing people is always hard. From past experience. I have a friend who's mom died recently. I showed her this poem and it made her day. I hope you keep writing. My friend is interested in your poetry. Good luck and keep writing!
From,
Buddy886551
Hi there! Ariana with your review. Well to start off, I am sorry for your loss.
However I do have to applaud you for being able to cope with this in a positive manner. Not all people can do that, so I think it's good that you were able to do so. Anyway, on to the content. This was very good, with the exception of two things. You left an "I" without capitalization and left the apostrophe out in its. You used "its" as in possessive when you should have said "it is". Other than that, I didn't see anything wrong with this poem besides that. Keep up the good work!
Wow. Let me just say that I am sorry for your loss. I know what it's like to lose people who are that close to you. I thank God every day that I have never been in that situation, but people that I know have and it was terrible watching them go through it. I feel for you.
But, as good as this is as a piece of writing, it does need a little work technically.
The only two errors that you had were in these lines:
I's should always be capitalized when they stand alone.
I think that here you meant it's since this translates as, it is. That's the correct form for the sentence you have here.
Also, I think that you would benefit from adding a few comma's here and there. Not a lot, but one or two wouldn't hurt. If you prefer not to add them though, that's perfectly fine. You're the author here, not me. I can only make suggestions and point out mistakes.
Other than that, this was very well written and clearly came from the heart. Those poems are the best kind.
Peace,
HT
Well first of all I'm glad you found a way to deal with him passing away. I've lost people as well so I know how difficult it is. My only thing iscapitlazation such as I. Flow as well might be something to try and improve. So its fantastic overall just try and fix those few things. Once again great job LOTDR over and out.
waaaaaaaaaaaaw it's fabelous i just can't beleive he passed away i'm so sorry but he will always be with you remember that and i think he will be happy because you make a poeme for him trust me and good job i really like it best of luck for you