The claws scraped along my back, drawing as they go.
The ruby liquid dropped to the white tile.
Drip-
Drip-
Drip.
The fangs pierced my bare throat,
Causing pain and pleasure.
This is what people call
scary…
Bum-Bum
Bum-Bum
Bum-Bum
Blood runs cold as the words make their way to me.
I freeze in motion as they reach my head, my heart, my soul.
Love is a Monster
Love will make you bleed.
Love will make you scream
in pain.
Love will make you scream in ecstasy.
Love is scary.
Love.
BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM
BUM-BUM
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,733 Reviews
Hey, here to leave a quick review.
I really enjoyed this poem. You use great visual language to evoke images.
"The ruby liquid dropped to the white tile."
I loved this line. Not only does it conjure up a vivid image in my mind, but it also causes me to think deeper. "Ruby liquid" can be interpreted as not only ruby in color but also in value. It makes me think the narrator is losing a valuable part of themselves in this love.
Overall great job. Keep it up!
Nice poem written by the author.
The title is quite interesting and unique, because of which I read rest of the poem.
"Love is a Monster
Love will make you bleed.
Love will make you scream in pain.
Love will make you scream in ecstasy.
Love is scary."
True, love is, has always been a mix of pain and pleasure both at the same time which sometimes gets hard for us to handle, but when it gets out of hand and we cannot control it, it becomes scary. The old horrifying memories haunt us, but we should let the past be the past because it is gone.
And everything happens for a good reason.
You could try writing bit lengthy poem next time (this is just a suggestion; rest is your wish).
Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.
Hi, I dropped by because the title interested me, and reading this has given me thoughts I’d like to tell you!
First, wow, the onomatopoeias and the way you wrote them were so amazing!
This for example, along with describing blood as ruby liquid really makes the scene come to life.
Also,
The way you emphasized the action of freeze by giving it space was so creative and is the kind of structuring that makes poems like these pop!
also, the repeating if bum-bum in different scenarios—from fright to love, strengthens the meaning of the title and adds a nice rhythm to this piece.
Over all, it seems that this is your first work you uploaded to YWS, and I can’t wait to reas more from you! (also, a little late welcome to YWS!
I hope my short review helps encourage you a bit to be a more active and engaging memeber!
Also, remember, you should always take what you can learn from reviews, that doesn’t mean take just the positives, take valid and helpful criticisms and always try to improve your work!