Young Writers Society

Hello!

This poem is so original! I love the way you presented it and of course the musicality of it. It's just great how you managed to combine together all the words starting with "p" in a way that makes the poem flow without seeming redundant.
Every word is on point and very well emphasized.

"I perch and ponder my presumed perplexing position, poring over each parcel of print I possess, each poem and paper and publication, in pursuit of any possibility, Of any way to end my plight."

Beautiful!

You perfectly captured the essence of writing and being a poet, and you presented it in a fun, playful way.

Thank you for sharing

Hey tupa42! Michaeld here for a review. Overall, this was quite an enjoyable read! It describes very well the love/hate relationship us writers (and most artists in general) have with our craft, and the sense of valiant resolution at the end really resonated with me. Now, onto the critique!

The first thing that stands out to me is that, in my opinion, this piece presents itself more as prose rather than as poetry. However, it is stuck in some sort of prosaic/poetic limbo... I feel the stanzas need to be more condensed to be considered "poetry." However, it works quite well as prose as it stands.

Secondly, I am a very big fan of alliteration, yet I feel it works best in moderation. I gather that the alliteration is a focal aspect of this piece, but I don't think it works all the way through. There are times when it feels as though the alliteration is forced rather than organic, specifically when using "larger" words (e.g. "proper panacea" "presumed perplexing position" and "Painfully, the periodicity will prevail"). While these are all wonderful words, they give a "thesaurus" feeling--the unfortunate downfall of using excessive alliteration, in my experience. They tend to pull the reader out of the piece. Seeing as alliteration is the cornerstone of this work, I unfortunately don't have a remedy off the top of my head.

Now for some general punctuation and grammar corrections.

In the first line, I would not capitalize "periodically" as it is considered part of the sentence or thought.

In the second line, I would change the wording to: "I am presented with a peculiar..." as this feels more natural than using the reflexive "present myself."

Here: "previous pursuits, and then, my progress is pared" I would use em dashes rather than commas to separate "and then" from the rest of the sentence.

Here: "More of a poetaster than a Poe." I would combine this with the previous sentence, as it does not stand as a sentence on its own. As with my last recommendation, I think an em dash would do nicely, or a comma (e.g. "...prolific writer--more of a poetaster than a Poe.)

Here: "...each poem and paper and publication, in pursuit of any possibility, Of any way to end my plight." I would use em dashes as well (e.g. "...each parcel of print I possess--each poem and paper and publication--in pursuit...), as I'm assuming "poem and paper and publication" is describing what "parcel[s] of print" you have. And "of" should not be capitalized.

Lastly, I think the use of "perseveration" doesn't exactly work here. It's more of a clinical term that I feel doesn't fit in with the rest of the piece.

And that's it!

Again, very well done and happy writing!
Michaeld