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I Have Been Here Before

by tupa42


I have been here before.

I recall these pains in such a vivid way I wish I did not.

I remember the ache

I remember hurting for so long.

I do not remember when the hurting stopped,

Only that it did

Eventually

But this eventually feels like an eternity,

In my head the days keep getting longer

No matter how much I try to sleep

I keep waking up.

Confused and groggy from dreams of better days.

My subconscious keeps trying to trick me

Into thinking that everything is fine.

I have been here before

Going around and around and around in my head

Over what I did wrong,

How she is so close

And yet so far away.

I have been here before

It is not any more fun the second time around.


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Points: 31
Reviews: 30

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Wed May 08, 2019 1:04 am
brookeallo wrote a review...



Hi.

I really liked this poem. Poems about heartbreak just seem to really connect with me personally and lots of other readers based on the emotions from heartbreak that most everyone has felt before. Very engaging and descriptive topic that draws readers attention to reading. The first line of the poem is like a slam but in the best way. Its like when your just given so much emotion and its just in the first 5 words and how so relatable they can be. I want to mention that I do think commas seperating lines and periods at the end of some of the lines would help more with appearance and flow. I also feel like you go from the first few lines being in past tense to the rest being in present and I would suggest changing just a little so the tense is the same throughout the poem. Other than that it is beutiful and I love the feeling so much that entinsifies from the overall meaning of the poem. Thankyou so much for writing and I hope to read more from you soon. :)




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26 Reviews


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Reviews: 26

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Mon May 06, 2019 8:11 pm
seekingthetruth wrote a review...



by far the most emotive thing I have read on here, it made me weep with sadness it made me cry but most of all the amount of emotive language used in a complementary way broke my heart because you re minded me of a time in my life that hurt me. it was formidable li am really struggling to type words because I am so happy and sad at the same time because I think you were born to write and you were born to share your emotive side because you are able to over exaggerate the feelings you think and turn them into such a powerful voice that lets you be heard across the world,you are truly one of the greats and I hope you publish this because its so heartbreakingly good.

congrats this is my first 10/10 well done#

MUST READ RECCOMEND




tupa42 says...


Thank you, I really appreciate this. I wrote this right after my heart was broken and I needed an outlet. I just sort of sat down and poured my heart out and this was the result. I'm glad that you enjoyed and I'm sorry that it made you sad, but it's important to feel sad sometimes I think.





well done as I said you can right really emotively shows you have awesome potential in the future



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63 Reviews


Points: 45
Reviews: 63

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Mon May 06, 2019 7:03 pm
Storybraniac wrote a review...



A clich├ęd but touching piece nevertheless. I felt the beginning was a little too strerched out though, like it kept the reader from eventually reaching the climax at the end. I preferred the second half to the first, there seemed to be more descriptive essence into the ideas. The first half just seemed like repetitions of the same idea that the protagonist was hurting regurgutated in a different manner. Its a nice little work, and i believe we will se fsr better works from you in the future around here.

<3




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21 Reviews


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Sun May 05, 2019 8:12 am
Leviari wrote a review...



Beautiful and heartfelt poem you have here!! You explained your emotions in a clear, relatable way: no metaphors, no figures of speech, just a raw description of ache. Well done.

Now, I often prefer to leave my poems without punctuation myself, so I get why you decided to avoided it as well. Still, I think this piece needs a bit of it here and there. For example:

"I have been here before
I recall these pains in such a vivid way, I wish I did not
I remember the aches."

Does this sound smoother to you? Sometimes punctuation helps to make the poem more clear by introducing some pauses, and to give emphasis on the words you want to highlight more.

For the same reasons, I would have preferred your piece to be divided in stanzas, for example:

"...Confused and groggy from dreams of better days
My subconscious keeps trying to trick me
Into thinking that everything is fine
I have been here before

Going around and around and around in my head
Over what I did wrong
How she is so close
And yet so far away

I have been here before
It is not any more fun the second time around"

That's just a suggestion and the division should change according to how much relevance you want to give to the line "I have been here before".

So, I think you can improve your poem in playing around with the general structure, but overall this is a great piece and I absolutely enjoyed reading it.

Stay inspired :)




tupa42 says...


I can totally see where you're coming from with the notes on the structure. When I first wrote this it was right after the inspiring event occurred so I really didn't think about form, I just kinda poured my heart out. I'm not sure if I want to change how it's formatted just because this is how it originally came out, but I appreciate your review :)




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